1. Comment: You, sir, are an idiot. So instant news is a bad thing? Would you like news served to you slowly then, possibly on toilet paper? Get over your Britney-follow-only problem, and then see the potential. Seriously.
2. Live: Divine, chilled weekend with Cam. My girl, you are amazing. Never, ever, ever stop dancing.
3. Excite: I’ll be here for the next three days.
*clicks heels together three times*
1. read: FML; PostSecret and Grouphug. Sunday night specialities.
2. hear: cameron telling nemo to swim the other way. she talks to the telly. she gets that directly genetically from my mother.
3. feel: a gnawing. and a “not looking forward to the manic week ahead” but, one step at a time right? if you take more than one at a time, you’ll fall over.
4. had: a really good sunny day so we went walking. that rocked.
5. done: four more boxes. and a happy birthday singsong to cam’s dad.
6. counting: 12 days left here.
7. stalking: larcy. she knows it tho. wah.
8. bleak: that my lamp broke.
9. no i didn’t: throw it.
10. craving: marshmallows.
11. thankful for: friends who say what they feel, and friends who love me just the way i am.
12. even more thankful for: friends who get me in just one line of a text message.
i am a HUGE, HUGE fan of sewende laan. seriously. i don’t get the chance to watch it often, but i became addicted to it when cameron was a “leeeetle baaaby”, as she calls it.
if she hears that theme song, she comes running from wherever she is and dances.
it kinda worries me that she is that attached to it.
i lie, everybody’s got their things right? i think its awesome.
so, weekdays, don’t really allow for it to be watched, but thats why they created…
The.Sunday.Omnibus.
So, sorry, that’s what i like doing on Sunday afternoons. Everybody’s got their thing, right?
Yes, it makes me boring/telly dependent but the fact is, it’s one of the most honest, and truly South African programmes out there. No, really, I mean it.
I fscking love it.
this happened a while ago. i had my life and self affirmed in a most majestic way. for someone who spent all her time searching for approval in strange ways, this was the one that released me, truly released me, from searching.
it’s only fitting then, that within an hour of it happening, i was tested on it, and i am happy to say, that survived that test, passed it, and moved on. you’ve always tested me, challenged me, and that is what i like so much.
but, it was the start in my head of what’s become the miracle theorem. so, here it is:
you said ‘its about time someone was decent to cath’
i said ‘its about time i was decent to myself’
you said ‘i’ll bring the noise’
i said ‘just be silent and listen’
you said ‘i’ll see you’
i said ‘yes, please’
they said ‘youre a miracle’
you said nothing.
after speaking, at length, with people close to me, i realise a few things more on this. that the miracle is not me. it’s not you. it’s not anybody. it’s the fact that we exist today.
that we were created, that we survived, that we survived our families, and they survived us, that we survive everything we’ve created for ourselves thus far – the good and the bad, and that we survive today. and not just survive, but in fact, flourish.
it is the miracle that we exist today that is the ultimate foundation for every person.
i spend so much time telling people i care about that i adore them, that they’re awesome or that i admire them. it’s not because i want it back, it’s because i really feel that – that i can understand, without the details, that they have survived and flourished, and are standing there before me, and for that reason, they are indeed a miracle.
the cliche goes that miracles happen every day. i never believed that before. i do now. very, very much so.
she says as she sits here waiting for her two-year-old miracle to come home.
it’s 05h47am.
sunrise is yet again, breathtaking.
strange things happen when left to my own devices, to connect and to, as larcy would say, ‘plug in’.
to all of my peace and all of my grace, i say good morning.
to all of my turmoil and all of my hate, i say good night.
as long as there’s sunrise, it’ll be okay.