Tag: will

slipstreaming

fontwork intentional

For the last two weeks, i will admit, i was unsettled. Feeling so very wobbly, as you well know. I think I hid it well with brightness and distraction. Well, better than i have before. Trust me. Better than I have before.

Is that part of growing up? who knows. My Peter Pan complex is not ALL that ready to fly away. And I am not that ready to let it go. Just yet.

Today and yesterday, have been approximately 528187189876161133786 times better.

I realise it won’t always be this way. There have been a wide variety of contributing factors to the ebb and the flow.

But, the overriding factor has always been simple – people.

Learning to be unaffected is my biggest lesson right now. Some of you are helping me to learn it. Just about anything used to crumble me fast and hard – “One forgotten birthday I’m all but cooked. How these little abandonments seem to sting so easily”.

But that’s still not my point here.

My point here is pretty simple. I am astounded, daily, by the true hearts that live within the people around me. From Larcy and Cwaig’s random clothing of homeless people in an effort to keep them warm and promote SA music (yes. really), to Gladys’ ‘prayers for Cath because she deserves to have everything she ever needs’ to the ‘nicky sms madness’ to the just damn well being nice to me. It always shocks me a little when people are. I am still awed by every time someone does something just nice for me.

I always think of Garry’s ‘plate of food and you will eat it because you would do the same’ the night before I left for a worktrip and was basically, circumstantially, without any clue of where i was going, who i was, and how i was going to do anything, and what I did or did not have. It is always when I am most scared, that someone within the kinky circle stands up, appears. Anne’s “i’m just going to the store to pick up some things and then I’ll come see you” trip. And when she arrived, she just filled my cupboards and said not a word. I have a kabillion examples. From the little to the bigger to the biggest. To the “smile’ flowers. to the flowers sent by persons then unknown to me and since christened (see above), as the “bhora flowers”. These things have just happened again, and again, for me. I am eternally blessed. And I am not sure how I got so.

My point being. Is that I hope I do enough back.


parody – flowers in the window

i love this song, so much.
it was entirely ruined for me once by someone.
so, trust Will in his infinite wisdom to come up with the sparking line for a parody.
based on true-life events and real scars. wah

“i know you’re gay, but i really like the hard to get types”


elbow through the window – not travis
(flowers through the window – travis)

When I first held you I was not old
A melting snowman I was told
But there was no-one there to hold
That night I swore that I would be alone forever more

Hey Wow, look at you now
Elbow through the window
You’re such a lovely gay
And I’m glad that you feel the same

And we stand up out in the crowd
You are one in a million
And I love you so
Lets watch the elbow go

There is no reason to feel bad
But there are many seasons to feel glad, sad, mad

Its just a bunch of feelings that we have to hold
But I am here to help you with the load

Hey Wow, look at you now
Elbow through the window
You’re such a lovely gay
And Im glad that you feel the same

And we stand up out in the crowd
You are one in a million
And I love you so lets watch the elbow go

So now we’re here and now is fine
So far away from there
And there is time, time, time
To plant new seeds and watch them grow
So there’ll be an elbow through the window before we go

Wow, look at you now
Elbow through the window
You’re such a lovely gay
And Im glad that you feel the same

And we stand up out in the crowd
You are one in a million
And I love you so lets watch the elbow go
Wow, look at you now
Elbow through the window
You’re such a lovely gay
And Im glad that you feel the same

And we stand up out in the crowd
You are one in a million
And I love you so lets watch the elbow go
Let’s watch that elbow go

one of three.

sotd – possibly maybe – bjork.

i love the album post. i love debut in much the same way. there is much resonation in bjork’s incoherent coherence.

as much as i definitely enjoy solitude, i wouldn’t mind perhaps, spending a little time with you. sometimes, sometimes. possibly maybe.

one of three good photos i have taken in my life:


there’s a video from this night. it’s part of the one-day-in-the-life of bit-type movie i once made. i hate the sound of my voice, but i remember making it, so well, for you. i laugh when i think that i actually sent it to you, once complete. and now, i only have some pieces of it. i wish i could phone you and ask you to send it back. but i have deleted your number now.

last night

last night i had
(a) zero sleep. as in. did not even enter room of bed to get sleep.
(b) a massive, massive, very expensive and long sms fight. with you. hopefully we’ve now resolved that. i like to think of it as a good fight. it set my head straight. thank you.
(c) desperate need for an axe. i phoned a possible lead on a place, and the idiot says ‘oh you have a kid? does she cry?’. i coughed back my vomit, and tried not to say ‘no, actually she’s a deaf mute but thanks for asking’.
(d) approximately 14 glasses of water. dehydrating under pressure. remind me to buy a new water filter juggy thingamabobby whatsit.
(e) a g33kout with will
(f) nothing for dinner. was not hungry. am now starving. send food.

and then, in a laughy laugh. Will sent me this.

Entitled, ‘is this what makes front page news nowadays’. i corpsed. alot. literally, this made me “chiquitita you and i diiiiiiiiiiiiiie” giggle.

sack. look what i found.

opelboy.

your blog is still alive here

i forgot about this post:

My Grace

Originally Posted: January 25th, 2006

You whose face is aligned with the stars
Whose love and devotion is a testament to all things living
Your boundaries invisible
Your capabilites extending to the vanishing point

You whose smile is contagious
Whose eyes reflect a pure soul
Your friendship unwavering through paths of sharp rocks and nettles
Your mind a quarry of deep inspiration

You whose enveloping hugs are an instant cure for anything
Whose intuition is unquestionable
May you always hold the happiness you deserve
Close to you forever.

Song of the Day: You’re so Great – Blur

reason #55 kabillion why i love karen walker

she just sums it up.

From: Cath
To: Garry
Sent: Thursday, March 06, 2008 12:41 PM
Subject: reason 55 kabillion why i love karen walker

and i quote, from a transcript:

KAREN: Oh, I don’t know, honey. I mean, I’m almost 200 years old. You know, I just don’t have time for all this getting-to-know-ya crap. I just want somebody who gets me. Somebody who’s comfortable in my world, and makes me laugh, and occasionally brings me flowers. And… somebody who likes kittens, and the hard-core bondage scene.

living with grace.

on those days. when the world is a little blue, my heart lives on my sleeve and i feel like a tourist in a strange land in my own home. when everything’s a little off kilter, and my head smacking into walls, somehow i find a reminder of what’s important and who, again, has my back (and as nikola would say,my front too wah!), and who does not.

So, when the world gets a little strange and fishbowly. I phone a friend and remember that it’s a process abd I just have to be patient and strong.

And that, most of all, I am entirely, lucky, blessed and always have a home even when I feel homeless.

and for a million nights of exploding first aid kits, sleeping on couches, the lifechanging cigarette pros/cons game, pron hangman, fronds and foliage, doing the big block, making you hurry your food so that i can mission off somewhere at 3am, the human league dont you want me baby dance, everybody hurts at 4am and being entirely boxed (again!) by your voice, tissues and stockings, feeding me and holding my hand when it all goes to pieces.

i know that all the noise and silence matters not, because this exists. if i could bring you a frond from every forest in the world, i would.

and this song reminds me, makes me do a little ugly cry, and then feel so thankful for you.

happy 5th of march day, my will.

here’s to a million more years of living with grace
(hells, if you can handle it)

living with grace – barry manilow/eric mccormack

watch it here

i tell the world im thirty five
only you know the truth
i tell them all im happy
only you have the proof
i tell myself i’ll fall in love
and not just fall on my face
but ’til then i’m living with hope
and i’m living with grace

i tell the world i’m six foot one
and all you do is smile
i tell them all i’m playing the field
but you know that’s not my style

i tell myself i’ll find my way
moving at my own pace
but ’til then i’m living with pride
and i’m living with grace

living with grace
is never easy
but that’s not what life’s about
and no matter where tomorrow leads me
i’d rather live with grace
than live without her

i know that soon you’ll find someone
and vanish without a trace
but although i’m living alone
i’ll be living with grace

yes, no matter, come what will
in my heart
i’ll be living with grace