Tag: sotd

sotd 23.04.2011

<3

do you want to know a secret? – the beatles.

You’ll never know how much I really love you.
You’ll never know how much I really care.

Listen,
Do you want to know a secret?,
Do you promise not to tell?, whoa oh, oh.

Closer,
Let me whisper in your ear,
Say the words you long to hear,
I’m in love with you.

Listen,
Do you want to know a secret?,
Do you promise not to tell?, whoa oh, oh.

Closer,
Let me whisper in your ear,
Say the words you long to hear,
I’m in love with you.

I’ve known the secret for a week or two,
Nobody knows, just we two.

Listen,
Do you want to know a secret?,
Do you promise not to tell?, whoa oh, oh.

Closer,
Let me whisper in your ear,
Say the words you long to hear,
I’m in love with you.

ess oh tea dee.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-Ca62l_X8M]

I guess I woke up with this in my head this morning. It’s not about me, it’s about the past. This is for that past.

A past that I tried, recently, to tell something important to. They rebuked me. Ignored me. Standard Operating Procedure. I wouldn’t have begged attention if it were something trivial. Frankly, bugger it. And, yes, in some way, I hope you’re reading this.

do you eat, sleep, do you breathe me anymore?
do you sleep, do you count sheep anymore?
do you sleep anymore?

do you take plight on my tongue like lead?
do you fall gracefully into bed anymore?

i saw you as you walked across my room.
you looked out the window, you looked at the moon.
and you sat on the corner of my bed, and
you smoked with the ghosts in the back of my head.

i don’t know, and i don’t care
if i ever will see you again.
i don’t know, and i don’t care
if i ever will be there.

do you eat, sleep, do you breathe me anymore?
do you sleep, do you keep me anymore?

you kick my foot under the table,
i kick you back;
i can’t say i’m able to
stand for you or
fall for you ever again.
wish for a perfect setting?
wishing that i am letting you
take me where you want me
all over again?
you can give yourself absolutely to someone else.

i don’t know, and i don’t care
if i ever will see you again.
i don’t know, and i don’t care
if i ever will be there.

i saw you as you walked across my room.
you looked out the window, you looked at the moon.
and you sat on the corner of my bed, and
you smoked with the ghost in the back of my head.

do you eat, sleep, do you breathe me anymore?
do you sleep, do you count sheep anymore?
do you sleep anymore?

i don’t know, and i don’t care if i ever will be there.

SOTD

I love this song. Very, very much.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqWEyzYHIBc]

 

u r – a.n.m.

burn the books they’ve got too many names and psychoses
all this incriminating evidence would surely haunt me
if someone broke into my house
suits in the living room
do you realize guys I was born in 1974
we’ve got someone here to explain your publishing
we know how much you love to be in front of audiences

hopeful you are
schoolbound you are
naive you are
driven you are

take a trip to new york with your guardian
and your fake identification
when they said “is there something anything
you’d like to know young lady?”
you said “yes I’d like to know what kind of people
i’ll be dealing with”

precocious you are
headstrong you are
terrified you are
ahead of your time you are

don’t mind our staring but
we’re surprised you’re not in a far-gone asylum
we’re surprised you didn’t crack up
lord knows that we would’ve
we would’ve liked to have been there
but you keep pushing us away

resilient you are
big time you are
ruthless you are
precious you are

me. you. me. you.

Me. working. Obviously. The only thing lacking here are  my headphones. Where the hell are my headphones?

I found them. I was sitting on them. Heh.

You know that weird little moment you have when you hear something you have not heard in a long time? Like, you forgot about it in the a-to-z of your favourite tunes folder.

I hadn’t heard this in about, ooh, er, numerous years, actually. Forgot it existed. A gorgeous surprise. Like something else in my life 🙂

Anyway, so you find this thing you forgot you had,

And you do a little jig because…

(a) it’s awesome

(b) it makes you smile

(c) it’s a good song.

(d) it makes you think about good things.

(e) it suddenly fits.

Yeah, that. I had that moment just now.


[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8eDmYGXHzdQ]


and i salute you for your courage

possibly the busiest work day of my life.

possibly the craziest i have ever been…no. really….

/please excuse the muesli behind my head, and no i haven’t had any breakfast yet/

/and yes, thats two phonecalls and a skype con going on simultaneously, and a webserver crashing/

 

but, i am still thankful. for your support.

it’s a hell of a thing to be confronted with entire madness.

someone once said they battled to keep up with me.

same person i blame directly for a lot of good things in my life.

so, i’m rounding off today with a smirk to those of you (and you know who you are) who stand by me in the insanity.

the slipstream, the craziness, the amazing times, the pure mental times…

and, as I walk out the door today, to finish this day…

i am surrendering. you are surrendering.

i thank you for it.

i salute you for your courage in the face of adversarial forces that i represent.

here

 

SOTD – Break – ANM

This is just how I feel today. i know i need my holiday, badly. i know i need quiet and i need a hug.

i know i’m not alone in this.

it’s normal to feel this way.

there’s too much going on/not enough normalcy and quiet/not enough sleep/not enough me time/too much pressure to constantly be okay with this/at least i have  a special rant person i can rant to and have it be okay.

i need to shout. i need my annual stand-at-top-of-mountain-scream-cry-go-insane-just-for-a-bit-yell-stomp-my-foot-and-hit-stuff.

i know it will calm down again. i know i am a skip and a jump away from some time away. but, i need this, this thing.. i’ll enbolden it for you.

it’s just. right now. i need to shout. and i know i need a big, ugly, yelping cry. because i need to let this shit go. and i battle to let things go.

but i have no time to have one. no space to unbundle it. no place to put it.

break – anm

Indeed I
Have sucked it up to heights
Unknown to those outside

My body has contained and suppressed
And swallowed and abetted
Oh I am a stranger to myself
Beneath altruism dwells
A force uncontended
A voice that is tempered
To boiled and unhindered

Who am I kidding?
I am not some Mother Theresa
If I don’t say something soon
I will break from the weight of the high road I take
No

Indeed I need my chance to fail
Some room to unravel
I need a chance to blame for two minutes
Unbridled, unbrazened
So I need imaginings of maiming
Fantasies of outright screaming
I need a chance to thrash for minutes
Uncontained, unforgiving

Who am I kidding?
I am not some Mother Theresa
If I don’t do something soon
I will die from restraint
As a sick subjugate
No

I will move beyond, I’m certain of that
The sooner I go the quicker I’ll be back
I would not threaten or cause you any harm
Have to get this out or my light will go out

Who am I kidding?
I am not some Mother Theresa
If I don’t do something soon
I will die from restraint
As a sick subjugate

SOTD – Just – Henry Ate

Lately I’ve been thinking what if I was wrong
And the world never meant you and I to belong
We’d have wasted so much time building castles in the sky
Only to watch them all fall down
Would it be all of our dreams so well suited to you and I
Could only be half acquired would it be worthwhile?

If I could just understand this
I might then try forgiveness
Know that I will, each time I feel
You’ll be by, you’ll be by, you’ll be by my side
In the end, we’ll still be friends
Ain’t it shocking how your sympathetic world amends
And in time, you’ll realise
I’m not what I seem inside
I go wild, I go wild, I go wild

Lately I’ve been thinking what if you were wrong
And all the things you’ve taken were never meant to be gone
You’d have given a gift from above so freely having given no thoughts to love
And would it be all of your dreams so better suited to someone like me
I would watch you achieve wouldn’t that make me so damn unhappy
On the level thinking back – I…

No if I could just understand this
I might then try forgiveness
Know that I will, each time I feel
You’ll be by, you’ll be by, you’ll be by my side
In the end, we’ll still be friends
Ain’t it shocking how your sympathetic world amends
And in time, you’ll realise
I’m not what I seem inside
I go wild, I go wild, I go wild
No if I could just

SOTD Friday

So,  here’s the thing.

Mine had me waking up this morning with this song in my head.

The last text of the day.

Everyone needs one.

I keep dancing.

Nothing changes.

I throw the punches and we laugh together at my dis-coordinated ways.

You keep dancing.

Nothing changes.

You smile and still, still the world lights up.

I need this weekend. So much. I need this weekend to shut my computer, my brain, my heart, down.

Just for a bit. Just to recoup. Just to muse. Just to remember who I am. To sleep.

The first day I heard this song I was fifteen, and probably not as fabulous as I thought I was.

That said, at least I was trying.

The first day I heard this song, I was on a field, under the sunshine, dancing to this great band (then Henry Ate) that would probably be on my walkman for  a long time.

They were. They still are. Except now it’s on my iPod as I walk down the street.

To imagine a day without you means to lose one day of my own life. That never changes. It just can’t and won’t.

Trust me on that one. Like you trust me with toasties.

In exactly the same way, that I’m really still that girl in the sunshine, attempting fabulousness.

I feel you were there all along. Strange as it seems.

I always knew somewhere, you were.

I knew you were going to be here long before you even knew which stickers you wanted on your car.

I knew it at fifteen, just like I know it today.

I always know you are.

That’s never going to change.

Trust me on that one. Like you trust me with toasties.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uC7raAeP_Bk]