Tag: gratitude

I have been lucky in my life. Ridiculously, gigantically lucky. Somehow, through great wisdom/serendipity/timing, I have spent my life being surrounded by incredible women.

My mother was the first, a tableau of school teachers the second. After that, a cornucopia of friends who grew into confidantes, who became beacons of light. As my life has progressed, regressed occasionally and been shunted unexpectedly forward over time, I have always been able to rely on the wisdom and support of amazing women. Every single one of these women, whether I see them every day or not. Whether they’re on my speed dial list or not. Whether I know them “in the computer” or not. Every single one of them has a space in my heart and sparks a fire in my head.

Perhaps my luckiest moment of all though, is that I have been given the duty and blessing to raise a wonderwoman of my own. My daughter is fast showing signs of a future global presidency but her compassion for all and good manners shine through every day.

Ten years ago today, I ended up in an interview. I was wearing heels, makeup and  a business suit. If you know anything about me at all, it is that I ditched that suit shortly thereafter. I was filled with the naivete of a 22 year old just starting out in the world, the cynicism of a girl who thought the world owed her just a little favour and the excitement of someone who had no cottonpicking clue what they were doing half the time.

How I ended up there is quite a story. You see, there was an interview about two years before then, where I insulted the boss, ashamedly confessed to being a nicotine addict and promptly wondered who the heck I was. For some absurd reason though, they liked me. I got that job and I loved every minute of it. I didn’t love it for the work, I loved it because it was the turning point in my life that led me to the point I am today. I was immersed into an environment that was supportive, sometimes frenetic, often hilarious and entirely honest. I’ll avoid a cliche here and not tell you that it was like home. It was the very first step I was able to take into a life of truth and self-worth.

It was through that interview that I met a woman who turned my life around. She taught me to be true to me. She fought with me when I wasn’t being true to myself and she loved me even when I was entirely unlovable. She would question me, force me into thinking when all I wanted to do was ignore everything and held my hand when I just wanted to cut it off. It was, and still is, her who inspired me to really write for myself. It is her I still look to when I hone my craft and it is her who indulges my ramblings when I realise things. She was then, and still is, my second mother. In an esoteric thought process, I like to believe that somehow, the Universe chose her to guide me. It is she who is my muse, my sounding board and my artistic heroine. I hear her voice in my internal monologues, and it forges me ahead to better my writing, think about what I do and listen primarily to my heart. I am, forever and always, indebted to her.

It is her who led me to that second interview, where I met the next woman who would change my life. Bear in mind please that the two of us emanate from two entirely different worlds. But, there is one thing we definitely see eye to eye on, and that’s passion. We sometimes have completely divergent passions and that causes us to butt heads. We sometimes battle to understand what on earth the other one is saying but, we determinedly stick it out. Very often though, we can read each other’s minds and often find that one of us has done something, before the other has asked for it. Some people battle to understand this relationship but we don’t. It is founded on a stone of the willingness to understand each other, even when one of us is yelling obscenities into the traffic of life. I am, forever and always, indebted to her too.

Both of these women have been with me through losing my parents and gaining myself. Both of them stuck with me when I hated myself and when I felt the world hated me. They believed in me, far beyond the extent of my own faith. They saw within me the potential to be the person I wanted to be, before I even knew who that was.

They believe in me, every single day. They’re not dissuaded by my self-deprecation. They’re without concern about my self-doubt. They operate entirely from a place of love and focus. I am, forever and always, indebted to them for their attention.

Without them, I would never have written. Without them, I would not know what I do today. Without them, I would have a poorer life and I would lack the strength to continue to operate from a place of self-truth. They are the people who inspire me to be more of me, and less of what the world asks of me.

They are my ultimate inspirations and every day, I am thankful for their somehow funny, incredibly hilarious but entirely meaningful arrival in my life. Moreover, I’m glad you stayed.

Thank you X