things that annoy the fuck out of me

it’s one a.m. and i’m still working.

i need a rant.

1. when random people ask me how i am and i say ‘tired’ and they say ‘you know, you should really get more sleep’. i feel like saying ‘oh my fuck! why didn’t i think of that?!?!’.

2. when random people say ‘you work too much’. i do it because i have to and want to. it’s a choice i make, every day. and it means that i am able to provide for my daughter, make a small difference in the world and indulge my own creativity.

3. that said, i am grateful for every moment i feel i can make a difference in the work that i do. i am more than thankful that i am able to provide for my daughter in a way that not only pays the bills, keeps me thinking and keeps me happy but, also makes a positive contribution to the world we live in – both in the community and commercial sense.

4. this afternoon, at the doctor’s rooms, this woman walks in (Sheena knows why i cringe every time i walk in there and silently pray that certain other people do not have adjacent appointments to me) and looks at Cam (who was wearing a play-play veil) and says “but you’re too young to be a bride! how could your mom let you wear that?!”. I felt like saying: “look, fucknut, she’s four. leave her the fuck alone”. Instead, I looked over at crest-fallen Cam and said “don’t worry baby, you can wear whatever the hell you like, and yes, that means if you want to wear your panties on your head, i say go right ahead”. Said woman to me: “oh, YOU’RE her mom, but you’re so little and young”.

(thanks for the backhanded compliment, douchebag but, actually, I’m hitting thirty physically and four hundred and two mentally today).

4. unsolicited life advice from complete strangers. like: “hey, you should try this insurance company/deodorant/body lotion/music/whatever. if i want an opinion on something, i’ll ask for it. sheesh.

5. My eye hurts. I have a sty. This sucks little balls of multi-coloured wool.

6. People who do not ensure the safety of their pets when they are at work or away from home and so, dogs and cats go wandering. Doofuses. Use your gates and stop moaning about how your dog got lost. It’s your flipping fault for not closing the gate behind you. I mean, seriously. Man up and do it. Just today, I saw three dogs (all clean, fed and clearly well-homed) wandering down the road because they could.

7. Leonardo DiCaprio pisses me off. No really. Always has. He’s got what a very dear friend of mine would call a “moer-my-gesig”.

8. My 3g is pissing me off too. Since I started typing this post, I’ve had to re-connect five times. One of us is not going to be pretty at the end of this, and I think it’s going to be the modem. I’m bigger, after all. If I could find my hammer, I’d use it this evening.

9. People who fake it. No, I’m not talking about IT. I’m talking about life interactions. Like, they fake empathy or they fake interest in your life because they’re actually just all about the juicy gossip. Piss off and go fill your own diary with something meaningful. I’ll alert the media for you. Chippers, you twat.

10. People who judge before they bother to listen and try to understand. I know I’m guilty of it sometimes too, and I totally cop to that but, I’ll say this, I’m always going to try and listen before I make a call on something.

11. it still irks me that people cannot push trolleys in a polite and courteous way. it really worries me that people who are legally allowed to get behind the wheel of a car, cannot seem to fathom the simple machinery of a shopping trolley.

12. the fact that, the more tired i am, the worse my typing gets. i won’t even tell you how long it actually took me to type this sentence.

i am totally spent. good night, world.