Tag: sickbag

dear larcy, a sickbag.

Dear Larcy, a sickbag

So it finally happened. You and me in the sun, between the trees and purge, here’s comes a…year.

A year, indeed. Decisions made, continents crossed, hearts crushed and bloomed, shoes worn down to untenable bunion level.

But, you did it. You went, you came (not all over it’s face) and you returned.

And you’re still wondering why it feels so strange.

And you’re still wondering why it feels so foreign.

And you’re still wondering why the transition did nothing to distract you.

And so, we walked, and you remembered the craziness and the cold grey skies, and i remembered the insanity about couches and bjork hairdos. I laughed at my own seemingly quiet year, and you renounced all knowledge of otherwise.

Stop worrying about potentially embarassing crutches are. Everybody uses them babe, its only the brave that admit it. Some people have console games and/or drug habits, we have crowded house and a box of letters from 1996, and 12 years later. There are worse things.

Starting a life anew is just an illusion.  It’s not the scariest thing in the world because it still has possibility. Its the ending of the life anew that means more loss.

And when you said to me on Friday night, on a beach, under the stars, that you really weren’t sure about all that this place has, and the people within, i get you. I get that you’re discomforted by it  – I am too. If its not everyone settling into their own piggies and pondles around the dinner table, it’s the peggies and the puerile waiting to be served the scraps. The truth it has nothing to do with here or there – it’s life. And if you’re really worried about it, well, you’re living it anyway. Most people aren’t.

You worry that you don’t give me enough perspective. I’d respond with have you met you?

It’s probably unlikely that you or i will end up bitter, weird gardeners living with our parents but then, why not grab life by it’s hoohah and see where it lands up anyway? It’s not about the garden, it’s about the us in it.

So much codespeak in this sickbag it may as well have been written in hieroglyphics. (i feel compelled to write footnotes hehe4)

I like that we’re like that. I like that you’re back. I like that alot indeed.

Welcome home Larcy Jane McArsey. No, I still have not washed my cheek.

random quote for larcy

random quote for larcy from MSCL..following on from the sickbag I sent her this morning (sorry folks, left you out of that one, just this time…) 

I know you’re reading chick. hehe4. 

“People always say how you should be yourself, like yourself is this definite thing. Like a toaster, or something. Like you can know what it is, even. But every so often, I’ll have, like, a moment, when just being myself in my life, right where I am, is, like, enough.”

Excuse me, I have to go and oh, I don’t know, make fritters probably. =) 

Disclaimer: wahaha. note, this is a private joke. please don’t assume anything from it. should you feel the need to, please fuck off and stop reading me, disclaimers included.

Dear Larcy

I know I promised you a sickbag, and I swear, it’s coming, but today’s run away with me.

So much to tell you.

Happy MTV Day. SACK.

X

– vonda 😉

p.s. trampoline style. 🙂 (a little shocked yet comforted to find someone else using that phrase…hehe4)

p.p.s. ‘i’m at home in this high-five’. it was a grand weekend of sunshine and bliss. (hehe4)

p.p.p.s Watch Juno and ‘don’t die’.

p.p.p.p.s TWO DAYS LEFT of TWO. Sack.

p.p.p.p.p.s @NotKay – I’m alot braver since Friday. Ifyouknowwhatimean.

a sickbag for larcy

Dear Larcy

I’d like to tell you about my weekend. It was divine-divine to hear your voice on Friday –
I worry for our sanities at this time. But, we will survive and thrive. It is the way.

Thank you for keeping my investments safe. Keep them, we may still need them.

I’m okay though. I am strong, I am willed, I am true. Nothing else matters, does it? I
won’t speak of that again.

I had the best sleep of all time on Friday night. The best sleep. Our favourite pap puts up
with a hell of a lot from me. Including getting up and making me tea at 2am. When did i get
so lucky? How? I won’t question again. I’ll say this – I danced at breakfast and not even
seeing my high school nemesis annoyed me.

I am happy, and joyful. And smiling. Does anything else really matter?

Saturday we went to the beach. I lay in the sun in my garish bikini and thought of you. How
on the day of your wedding, Craig and the boys went to the beach. Hehe4. How on the day of
your wedding, I was not there. I am sorry – I should have licked your face more frequently?

How strange. I know you wouldn’t have made me wear ugly shoes. Hehe4.

Went to the AAAA benefit on Saturday night. You were right – to quote you “oh anne is going
to luuuuuuurve him”. And she did, and she does. She is well, and beautiful, and strong and
direct. I am so proud of her. Her belief in the things she does astounds me. Her faith in
herself and those she loves inspires me. You would have loved Saturday. Yes, I saw many
people, everyone commented on how good I looked and I thought “did i really look that crap
before?” Hehe4. I danced a little, laughed a lot, saw ross (he leaves for the uk on monday,
by the way. be sure to do the necessary should you swoon on by). Oh, as we arrived, a tank
and her partner were just leaving. Potholes were left in the road by their hairy feet. I am
a bitch, aren’t I? Now THERE’S a wedding I’m glad I won’t be “corseting” to. Will was with
us, and in the smoking room, I thought of you again. It doesn’t seem that long ago that we
were sat there, gossiping and talking with Rox and Dave. Funny part is, this time I’m truly
smiling. I’m not afraid anymore. I saw Minty and Arc. They look swell.

You know how I always run off on little missions to find people? It’s funny. I don’t need
to do that any more. I don’t have that drive or gut feeling or desire. I’m exactly where
I want to be with him beside me. Does that make sense? I’m still revelling, every minute,
knowing that he is there. I am in a constant fuckwow moment. And I would have thought,
knowing me, that it would have ended by now. It has most definitely not. In fact, quite the
opposite. It becomes more fuckwow daily. I am quietened by the bliss that was summoned
through a purge. Only you, Larcy, will understand the true meaning of that line. It’s not
what you think, folks.

Over breakfast this morning, I was quietly chomping on my toastie and thinking to myself
“this is another one of those music videos i wish i could send you”. It was then that I
knew there’d be a sickbag today. Waha. Actually, in context of today, a sickbag is quite
fitting. Haha. Matt will laugh at the irony of this.

I am home now. Showered, clean, waiting for Cam to come home from her Daddyo’s. I’m smiling
and baffing. All is well with me. How are you?

I’ll end here, before I go round and round in circles. The only thing missing from today is
you stealing my tea. Hehe4.

Love,
Cath

a monday sick bag to get you by.

Dear Larcy

I’m sat here listening to Green Day and thought I’d begin a sick bag note to you. I walked into work this morning eating a banana and knew I had a sickbag in me, Hehe4. I’m sorry you had a rough night. I know you’re pining a little for that which is safe and known. It’s okay to do that, you know. It’s a sign of exciting times to be a little freaked out by so much life change. Trust me on this score – Sheena will tell you – I’m the same currently.

Last night, I sat there, staring at the window (there was no fire through it at that time haha), and thinking “holy god, this is awesome. all of it. it’s 1996. someone hand me a blanket shirt and a menthol ciggie”.

And then I tripped over the trampoline and thought of you (typical retarded cath action). Thought of you and wondered how you were. Are you eating? Have you seen enough? Did you know that they took the sparkly lights down from outside your flat? We drove by last night and I stalked and saw they were gone. No dead bodies or banners were hanging from the balcony so I’m certain the SuperTenants are doing just fine. Hells, it’s not like your flat’s kettle boils itself. Haha. I wonder if they’ve found THAT candle yet?

There was a moment on the weekend, where I wished you could have been behind my eyes (yell video now!). At the Stables on Sunday, I was buying ice cream. It was then that I wished you could be there. Just right there, for that ten seconds when my heart travelled right up my chest and into my head and i realised that my life is exactly as i want it to be. That I was genuinely happy. That everything we’d moaned about, clamoured for and whinged over salad for (hehe4) was now real life. Yeah, sure, throw in a neverending positive bank balance and fuck off, we’d be dancing til sunrise in new Manolo Blahniks. Hehe4.

So, let me update you on my weekend. Sunshine. Family. Friends. Cameron wah.

My sister arrived on Friday to surprise my mom. My mom’s beautific smile when I saw her on the Friday arvie over rolls and salad (yes, salad, i laughed whilst making it. Sidenote- mtv telepathy, the house just came on, and it’s on random shuffle mode. fuck. Was meant to write you a sickbag, clearly) made it awesome.

You know, it’s weird to have all my family in the room at the same time. it’s weird and it’s good weird, do you know what I mean? After all the empty nesting, then BOOM, altogether again. It’s funny how things don’t change, right?

Saturday was mom’s book fair. Again, the sibling massive (oh god. you’re canning yourself laughing at that term, but you know what i mean. no, it’s not a durban band waha) and it was good. Even when my blister sister prac joked me into making me look like I was making out with a table (only a Jenkin, right? waha).

Then took a little walk and sat by the ducks and had crumpets and chocolate milk. Sunshine, larcy, I know I don’t have to tell you anymore than that. I got an education in birds and smiled. alot. I saw some good people. You know the people who are always in your life and have your back from when you’re even littler than a grasshopper. Yeah, those people. Twas fab.

Took Cam to the stables yesterday. Shopping with Sheena is akin to having a crazy person.

On that note, I wanna tell you about the Shath Maxipad. Yes, I said Maxipad. Lemme do it for you. Shath = Sheena + Cath; Maxipad = Pad aka Abode of MaxiMum Coolness.

We laugh. Alot, Larcy. Alot. There is always laughter. There are constant dyslexic spoonerisms (do not show throughs!) and alot of walking inadvertedly into walls just because we have no cohordination. It’s amazing we’ve come this far without bubble suits. The food’s awesome, there are shoes everywhere, and Cam is loving it.

Onto that, Cameron. I don’t want to brag, you know I’m not into that. I asked her yesterday in the sunshine. I said “Cammie, are you happy?” . She looked at me, grinned and said “Yes, mampa (she’s not called me that in ages, not since the Buddy Days), I am happy”. Then she showed me, again, what she’s learnt at school. You would die. You would die, die, die.

She arranges her fingers carefully, tells me to watch as she bends two fingers in and makes the sign language sign for I love you. Then she says:

“Mampa, this means I love you and it’s for you”.

*dead. on carpet. reincarnated. am snail*

Cam and my niece fight exactly the same way my sister and I used to. Pulling each other’s hair and blaming each other. Waha. Heaven help us when they like.the.same.boy. You do know, it’ll happen. It’s the way it happens, right?

When she woke up this morning she saw another aeroplane in the sky and said “bye lala. bye cwaig”.

It’s funny. I keep looking at life today and thinking – it’s a thing of whimsy, this. This real life is really rather whimsical, hued with green and pink (sick colour scheme, gotta say, but i know you get me). But, the truth is, it’s not actually whimsical. It’s honest reality and it tastes just like a best-of-both toastie, you know what i’m saying? hehe4. We never thought the whim would one day be real. omfg yay.

I don’t need to tell you how relievingslashawesomeslashphenomenal things there are. How important and different and wonderful it is to be taken at face value and not feel pressured, and to be reciprocal in that way. You understand why. I just don’t feel pressured. It’s the icing on my barney cupcake. I wish i could ‘catch the deluge’ of good in a cup for you, and make you tea with it.

I was going to work up a press statement but, decided against it. Instead, I’ll leave you with this thought, and you’ll know exactly what I mean. SOTD: Good Fortune – PJ Harvey.

Have a good day, Larcy McArsey. Cook everything on high. Even long shots make it babyshoes.

X

a sick bag note for larcy

subtitled: in sections.
playing: crowded house – the best of
track: weather with you.

Dear Larcy,

I thought it time to write. I won’t go round and round the bag but stick to straight lines and attempt to not knock myself out unintentionally with a giant bag of peas.

How are You?

are you living at 57 Mount Pleasant Street yet? 😉 hehe4.
are you warm? fed? free of criminal record? (aside from that one time you were caught stalking youknowwhomorgan)
have you spoken to your supermom and dad?
did you know that i miss you? like a fat kid misses cake when sent to a fatfarm? good. you know now.
have you got a job yet? (specs: free access to skype, fb and perezhilton. i have no other requirements, aside from the no loud chewing addendum on my job rider, thank you mr prospective employer)
tell me all the things you would change… about londontown. hehe4.

Me:

i’m going nowhere on the mantelpiece. i’m totally stoked with this. truth is, i’m singing like a bird released.
we’ve had some hairy moments where i wantedslashneededslashprayedfor you on skype. but, as always, we’re swinging swooning fine.
sheena is awesome to live with. she made me tea this morning when i woke up late.
the berg was beautiful. i know now that someone else we know is a big fan of the nougat. (yes, add that to the pile).
it was truly 1996, i should have worn a blanket shirt. i shit you not.
i walked a lot. it was good. i got a little sunburnt and a smile that’s getting me by in a very good way indeed.
“it feels like nothing matters in our private universe”
i’m sorry we didn’t see each other again. i think it’s better that way. this way, it’s not goodbye, it’s only goodnight. it is only goodnight, larcy. i promise you that.

The person your mom calls the special child and with whom I agree:

is going to the toilet on her own now! totally.
is smiling. she’s so beautiful i could cry. gonna have to cut the fringe again soon.
she went to the animal farm on the weekend with her dad and school. she loved it.
The other night she saw a plane and said “mommy is that lala and cwaig?”

The house:

Narcolespy couch claimed another victim on sunday. Waha.
The kettle’s boiled, feathers have ahoooyed everywhere, and sheena is a-okay with this. We always knew my life would be beyond normal, right? Wish you’d met her. You’d die. waha.
We made potato and butternut bake. and i made an awesome pasta. legendary. i’d send you a food parcel if i knew it would get there before the Fedex dudes ate it.
We drove past your house the other night and I got a little emo. Luckily for me, I had good distraction after looking at the lights.

Fly free my lil chicken. You have good wings.

“God bless you in your travels, your conquests and queries”

X