So, something happened where I had to choose between the two parts of my heart. This happens often enough, but it never gets any easier.
It made me sad. For a bit.
Then, last night, something snapped in my head. And like a big, bright sunshine, I looked around me. In front of me, was my kid dancing around the lounge and laughing about how the man in a video looked exactly like her dad about ten years ago.
I was lying on the couch and waiting for bedtime. Waiting because I’d not slept the night before. And then I remembered that I have this great honour, every night. Every night, I get to read a little story to my kid, kiss her face all over, and watch as she rolls over and kicks over into dreamland. Some nights, I even get to watch her sleep. And I do it. How blessed am I?
How lucky I am to have a strong, resilient child, who feels secure in the love that surrounds her.
I walked around the house and looked at the little life we’ve built together. The knicknacks that populate the surfaces, the photographs we treasure. The wall of art, of expression down the entranceway. All the little things that make up our home.
And I remembered, we did this. Just the two of us. Created a life for ourselves and live it, every single day. I’ve got that special treasure of being able to make a life, and live it, and love it, just for us.
There are people in the world who would give up everything for that very opportunity.
So, whilst I had to make a decision and turn down an opportunity, and choose between a heartwant and a heartlove, I’m glad I chose the heartlove. I’m glad I always choose that heartlove. That place and space where my heart comes home. It was an instantaneous decision, and I’ll make it every single day I live. Happily.
I always, always, choose my heartlove. Lucky, lucky me.