Being stuck in a loop isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Right now, I kinda need it.
Music being my second-ultimate therapeutic mechanism (writing this here blog is the first…), I do get stuck in a loop, with my secret playlists. Those playlists form the backbone of my life process, and I think my way through them (and…if the house is quiet and the windows closed, I may warble my way through them too – sorry neighbours!)
Anyway, my darling friend Andrea introduced me to this song today. And I instantly loved it. So, thank you Andrea.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9QNRvXH1HI]
She who dares to stand where I stood, indeed.
I’ve added it to my playlist of “broody stuff I need to not think about but end up thinking about anyway because who really is in control of their thoughts, anyway, right?”
Anyway, those playlists. About a year ago, I cleaned them up. I deleted music that I didn’t want anymore. I took a huge chunk of my playlists and trashed them. I felt strong about it, like I was letting go of emotional detritus I didn’t need anymore. I felt good about it. Happy, even.
A funny thing happens, though…Every time I do that, I’ll be randomly grocery shopping and then one of those songs I’d deleted will play and it’s like…
YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD GET RID OF ME, RIGHT? HAH! WELL! LET’S SHOW YOU HOW I CAN STILL AFFECT YOU, OH DELETING SUPERHEROINE!
And that’s generally when you’ll find me in the vegetable aisle, quietly crying over the cabbages. Heh.
It’s okay, though, because it’s just the way it is. I’m okay with being affected. I used to be really jealous of people who could shrug life stuff off. But now, now I’m proud of the way I am okay with my emotions, whether they leave me grinning like a loon at the sunshine, or sobbing into the carrots at the market.
I’m an overly emotional, sentimental, soppy fool with a penchant for crying over songs, and I’m okay with it.