postmortem.

i wrote this the morning after something happened.

inhale. exhale.
inhale. exhale.
inhale. exhale.
inhale. exhale.
inhale. exhale.
inhale. exhale.

get. up. get. up. get. up.

get up and run. get up and run. get up and run.

get out. get out. get out. get out.

get rox. get rox. get rox.

run. run. run. run.

be scared. be scared. be scared. be scared.

“you run fast when you’re scared”
“you run fast when you’re scared”
“you run fast when you’re scared”

run. run. run. run.

you’re not crazy.
you’re not crazy.
you’re not crazy.

this is really happening.
this is really happening.
this is really happening.

you really are on the floor.

inhale. exhale.
inhale. exhale.
inhale. exhale.

this is really happening.

run. run. run. run. run.

leave it. leave it. leave it.

it doesn’t matter if it’s destroyed.

just run goddammit. just run goddammit. just run goddammit.

make the call. make the call. make the call.

get in the car. get in the car. get in the car.

don’t look back. don’t look back. don’t look back.

it hurts. it hurts. it hurts.

don’t tell anyone. don’t tell anyone. don’t tell anyone.

say ‘im fine’

i’m fine.
i’m fine
i’m fine.

stop crying.

ignore what he said.
ignore it.
ignore it.

don’t take it in.
don’t take it in.
don’t take it in.

ignore it.
ignore it.
ignore it.

it hurts. don’t tell anyone it hurts.

oh my god the neighbours heard.

oh my god the neighbours heard.

oh my god the neighbours heard.

drink tea.
drink tea.
drink tea.

don’t think about the future.
don’t think about the future.
don’t think about the future.

think about now.
think about now.
think about now.

oh my god where is she?
oh my god where is she?
oh my god where is she?

she’s fine. she’s not there.
she’s fine. she’s not there.
she’s fine. she’s not there.

think about now.
think about now.
think about now.

stop thinking.
stop thinking.
stop thinking.

noone believes me.
noone believes me.
noone believes me.

wait. you do. do you?
wait. you do. do you?
wait. you do. do you?

“this isn’t the first time, cath”
“this isn’t the first time, cath”
“this isn’t the first time, cath”

cath.

what are you now?

you are nothing.
you are nothing.
you are nothing.

you are thrown away.