My friend, Mandy, said that to me this morning and it got me thinking about a deal I mentally made with myself in February.
I decided to say yes to everything that came my way for one month. To nod, accept and do. Now, of course, there’s some guidelines. They were: it must serve me in some way, it must be something I can care about (even if I do not right now) and it must be something that makes me feel like I am moving forward. Lastly, the thought of doing it must frighten me in some sense.
My default setting, for everything, is No. There’s a good reason for that and I have walked away from a lot of rubbish purely because I said No first. I’m grateful for that.
Choosing to say yes… well, 24 days later (that’s NOT a Sandra Bullock movie)…I can confirm that I’ve been frightened out of my wits, excited out of my skull and ended up very, very grateful.
The thing about frightening me is important. I’m one of those people who craves security, routine and an albeit illusionary sense of stability. I can confirm that nothing that I’ve said yes to, so far this month, has given me any of that.
But it has led me to write for places I never quite believed I ever would. But I have, and I will continue to.
It has led me to take up running-walking-jogging three times a week and enjoy it. This is alarming, because I have never really committed to anything like this…and it’s also a huge middle finger to the school teacher who once laid waste to my 15-year old self-esteem by ridiculing me because I “run funny”.
It meant I would work with people I always wanted to, but hadn’t been able to yet.
It has meant that my to do list is longer than it’s ever been.
BUT. That to do list is FULL of things I would sometimes DREAM of doing, but couldn’t quite get there. Suddenly, they’re not dreams. They’re happening. And I feel capable of doing them all.
The month is not over yet.
Importantly, being able to apply the guidelines I set out for myself helped a lot. When I did say No, I said it with intent and a clear purpose, that I’d explain to myself. Saying no got a lot easier for me, because I didn’t have to explain myself. It just was a straightforward “No”.
And, as the end of the month of Yes comes nearer, I’ve realised that my Yes, is just as powerful as my No. Perhaps, indeed, they are both magical.
Sounds like a wonderful project