So, there it is. We’re moving house.
It’s funny, you know. I walked into that house on Thursday and just knew. I’m a functional human being who goes by her gut. It takes a lot for me to be decisive, but I’ve taught myself to be, over the last few years. It’s led to me saving my brain and my own ability to get through life tumbles.
When I walked in, I immediately heard the noise of my family and felt the home beneath my feet. In my typical me-brain-type of way, I had made the decision already. And, as my Dad would’ve told you…when I’ve made up my mind, good luck trying to change it.
As we toyed with this idea of changing things up (and haha, the change conversation actually began as a joke one Thursday night), I felt panic. I like our routines, our life, the way things are but, hey, life changes.
Normally, by now, I’d be a mushy mess on the floor but, instead I’m feeling the panic of it all by making lists and attempting to gravitate towards a structured approach. At some point though, I know I’m just going to yell “SOD IT!”, chuck everything in a bag and get moving. Look, it’ll happen but that day is not today, my friends.
That’s the thing about change, though – you can either accept it, or fight it. No matter what you do though, it’ll happen.
So, this is where that ability to focus and get shit done comes into play. Because, of everything I have been able to learn (and actively forced myself to learn) over the last decade…it is to focus. And no, your machinations over why I focus on what I do will not matter to me. Sorry.
And that’s why. That’s why we stopped worrying about the niggly things that made us furrow our brows but didn’t talk about them. We took them, and we’re changing them. That’s why we could make decisions like we did. It was a small comment, that started an idea and, well…
The idea ends up being something that frightens me and – yes, it does. My normal, old response would be to fight anything that frightens me, Except that responding to that fear is entirely different this time. This time, I respond with lists.
I have now pegged dates throughout the next month of my life, where shit needs to get done. And it will. Don’t you dare try move my focus.
And what is my focus? That’s easy. It’s the idea I had as I looked out at the ocean, and imagined – with my mind’s eye – the Saturday morning I’d spend with my family, as we ate breakfast and laughed at how uncertain we felt about all this change.
Let’s go.