This has rung through my head all weekend. Whilst Cam and I went to the movies, jumped around under the sunshine, ran around the garden, rearranged our house and laughed with friends divine.
The truth is, something that weighed upon my heart. Something that worried me for myself. I realised in the midst of work insanity and the constant undertone I always feed myself of not being good enough…
That I am good enough. That I am capable. That I am.. That I am me. With or without hinderance or design. With or without a sparkly shoe upon my foot.
I remembered that I have the capacity to be sad and not have to blame anyone for it.
I remembered that I have the ability to be sad and not be afraid to blame anyone for it.
I remembered that I have nothing to be sorry for when I am living my life the way that I believe in it.
I remembered that I have a beautiful life. And whoever chooses to be in it, is welcome.
Whoever chooses not to be, is not my job to change.
I remembered that my energy is mine to use wherever I choose it best to go.
I remembered that my energy has no reason to explain itself.
I remembered that I should never apologise for my exuberance.
It’s honest. Honesty’s lacking in this big and scary world, anyway.
That the thing that made a friend of mine say: “love the passion, Cath” had nothing to do with anyone else but me.
Me and opportunity.
And I love opportunity. I love the exciting, the new, the let-me-feel-that-all-the-way-through.
I love my inner four year old (determined tantrums inclusive).
I love that my daughter is my outer four year old.
I love. I love this life.
I won’t stay inside apologising for my own sunshine.
That’s the one thing in this world I never want Cameron to learn.
To apologise for her exuberance, and her accompanying determination.
Dear Prudence – The Beatles.
Dear Prudence, won’t you come out to play
Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day
The sun is up, the sky is blue
It’s beautiful and so are you
Dear Prudence won’t you come out to play
Dear Prudence open up your eyes
Dear Prudence see the sunny skies
The wind is low the birds will sing
That you are part of everything
Dear Prudence won’t you open up your eyes?
Look around round round
Look around round round
Oh look around
Dear Prudence let me see you smile
Dear Prudence like a little child
The clouds will be a daisy chain
So let me see you smile again
Dear Prudence won’t you let me see you smile?
Dear Prudence, won’t you come out to play
Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day
The sun is up, the sky is blue
It’s beautiful and so are you
Dear Prudence won’t you come out to play
Yes. I will come out and play.