I wrote this a while ago.
I hate someone.
I live in fear of the day that I should randomly see them in the checkout queue.
I think about it often.
Worry about it every time I step out of the door.
Somewhere in the back of my head it niggles me.
But I quash it and I step on.
I know to survive, to thrive, I must keep stepping forward without stopping.
It plays on my mind daily.
Not because the fear of their face rises within me,
But because of the fear of my reaction.
I’m not sure I would be able to look back or look away.
I’m sure I’d be propelled forward
Even though it would not be in the best interests of anyone to do so.
Anger is blunt
It does not bend or curve towards your need
It leads and guides without a hand
And only a sharp stick against the heart.
A lack of understanding for things that cannot be understood
Lead to anger unparalleled
And yet, there you are.
Unaffected
Standing in a queue
Buying your goods
Washing powder, bleach, anything to make you feel clean.
Living your life as though your flabby arms have never been party to something so disgusting.
I can’t forgive you, and I’ve tried to forget
Yet you taint my every day.
My every day with a revolt in my stomach and an imagined clenched fist to your jaw
You must think yourself so lucky.
You know that even if I ever stood before you, it would not serve me in any way to show you how I felt.
The ultimate best response to you is to leave you alone.
Which is the converse of what you did.
You think you’re powerful
because you can make someone cry
but I will defeat you.
I believe in karma, and when she comes for your soul,
I will show her where you live.