With all the hoohah and constant questioning of my choices (Why don’t you go to the UK? You know, it’s safer there…) and the occasional self-questioning (am I a bad parent for staying here when I could go to allegedly safer countries to raise my child?), I thought it time i list a few reasons why, currently – maybe not forever, but right now, I choose to raise my child in South Africa.
1. She was born with a fair skin. Playing daily in the sunshine has given her a beautiful complexion that’s full of life. Quite literally, sun-kissed.
2. Every day she comes home dirty from school, and is not afraid of sand or grass. I have had kids from ‘other places’ come to visit and yell at the idea of getting their hands dirty with mud.
3. She goes to school with kids of every colour of the rainbow. They all get the same snotty noses, the same scrapes on the knees, and they hold hands with each other. They have absolutely no interest in whether or not their grandparents or parents once upon a time were not allowed to do this.
4. She understands three languages. She’s not even three yet. Yes, she can’t speak them all, but she can understand all three.
5. There is noise and joy and emotional honesty in the way we live. When we as a nation are happy, we celebrate. When we are sad, we are sad together. Does anything else really matter? At least we are together in the queue for petrol and/or torches.
6. At the age of less than three, she does not lead a sheltered life. She already comprehends the fact that there are people who have money and people who do not have money in the world. And that, where we can do a little bit to help, we do. For this reason, she has no issue in sorting out her old toys and clothes with me, to be passed on people who need them more. And I quote “Mommy, make a box for Gladys’ baby, she needs my old shoes. I am too big for them”. (yeah, i know, I die daily with that sentence construction)
7. She’s not afraid to dream. Our country was founded on dreams. And we ran on a dream for a long time. Now we’re trying to keep it alive in reality. We’ll get there, I’m sure.
8. She’s not afraid of the dark, thanks to loadshedding. 😉
9. When she runs through the park, she’s not afraid of falling over, but just of losing her turn on the swing.
10. Being a single parent in a crazy world is not easy. But it’s the choice I made. And in a world where women are fast becoming primary breadwinners, and the nuclear family is quickly becoming a myth, I am learning that it truly does take a village to raise a child. Nobody understands the notion of community better than a South African. And my village blesses me daily.
cath that was unbelievable!!
thanks for that, it’s exactly how i feel but have never had the words to say it so eloquently!!
excellent!!!!
brilliant!!!
This is going on my fridge for all to refer to. I will simply point to it next time I am asked that question, and more importantly, when I ask that question of myself. Second guessing our parenting decisions becomes second nature all too easily, and I needed this today.
Thanks for the CathsArseIs;-)
thank you my friends.
notkay – never secondguess yourself. HAVE YOU MET YOU?
@Sweets – MWAH
I really enjoyed this post! Mainly cause I could understand it.
I remain positive about South Africa, despite the problems we are having.
Oh wow!
I am busy preparing for the next ZA Show podcast episode which we are recording in a sec and I hope you don’t mind me reading it on the show this evening.
The ZA Show is proudly South African and this fits so well with the way we feel about SA.
I’ll link to this post in the shownotes.
Awesome stuff!
Glen! I am totally honoured! Thank you so so so much. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
absolutely fantastic, I think this will inspire a post on SA Rocks very soon! Brilliant work.
Brave but awesome post. You are giving affirmation to all of us who choose to raise our kids in the country of our birth, against what those that have chosen to leave claim is conventional wisdom.
I hope this post gets forwarded to all and sundry
Thank you so much peeps. Just comes from the heart, and you know where my heart lives. X
Top post…
Inspirational stuff for South Africans. Good to see somebody nice and positive!
Thank you!
x
Wow. You deserve some sort of a medal. I feel the same way. You have managed in just a few sentences to vocalise what so may of us are thinking. Contrary to what so many guilty newly ozzies would have us believe not all South Africans are doom and gloom. Some of us are foolishly optimistic.
Posted my opinion on my blog yesterday.
Thanks.
L
Thank you Leez.
I checked yesterday and saw – funny, we’re all thinking together too. X
Hi C@th,
I love this – may I have your permission to republish on http://www.sagoodnews.co.za?
sorry, C@th,
My email address is ian@sagoodnews.co.za
Ian! I would be STOKED!
Thank you!
Good for you and good luck. Every parent living in SA face this dilema, will my children and family be safe here?.
For me there is only one home and that is under the African sky, and that is where my heart will always be. I am hoping that things get better and that I can once again watch the African sunset from my little retirement cottage by the sea:) for now my kids are happily splashing in the rain and mud puddles of the UK. I don’t know if I made the right choice, but for now I make sure they know their African roots, so if the day comes that we can go home they will feel that they are home too.
I sometimes wake up and think i should really find some other country safe where i can live in peace…but u know what? “I love my country, ja people will say it has a high rate of crime, but i can tell that person that there is no place like home.” Thank u for the reminder
Wow, this rocked my world today. Thank you.
thank you so much!
it’s entirely evidential by your comments that, well, to quote ye clever boy, nic harry, SA Rocks!
it’s the people that make it that way.
X
I came across your article while surfing the net and didn’t quite understand what all the fuss was about. I live in Europe and my kids live in a very similar way. I think maybe you are too far away on the end of the continent to realise that your country, like every other country has it’s strong and weak points. South Africa is a great place, but there are many around the world.
o She was born with a fair skin. “My kids get a nice tan every year here in summer too, especially now when the sun only sets at 21h30.”
o Every day she comes home dirty from school, and is not afraid of sand or grass. “Funny mine also come home dirty and strangely enough loves rolling in sand and grass.”
o She goes to school with kids of every colour of the rainbow. They all get the same snotty noses, the same scrapes on the knees, and they hold hands with each other. They have absolutely no interest in whether or not their grandparents or parents once upon a time were not allowed to do this. “Funny enough, mine to! They also goes to school with so many different languages and religions, but even more importantly here in Europe – they go to school with so many different classes of children, from the poorest of poor to the wealthiest of rich. Do yours? Just wonder?”
She understands three languages. She’s not even three yet. Yes, she can’t speak them all, but she can understand all three. “I am also so impressed with my children that speak French, Gernam and English, now they will learn Spanish too.”
There is noise and joy and emotional honesty in the way we live. When we as a nation are happy, we celebrate. When we are sad, we are sad together. Does anything else really matter? At least we are together in the queue for petrol and/or torches. “It’s strange but we also do celebrate – especially at national events like the soccer when we will win as a country. We also feel sadness as a nation when something bad happens. We all watch the same news bulletin and feel the same emotions. Excpept for those people who don’t care – I am sure you have them to.
At the age of less than three, she does not lead a sheltered life. She already comprehends the fact that there are people who have money and people who do not have money in the world. And that, where we can do a little bit to help, we do. “Mine too.”
For this reason, she has no issue in sorting out her old toys and clothes with me, to be passed on to people who need them more. And I quote “Mommy, make a box for Gladys’ baby, she needs my old shoes. I am too big for them”. (yeah, i know, I die daily with that sentence construction) “We don’t really go the “let’s help the person that works for us with free things” but instead our government and NGO’s have many programs here. We also have shops where we put these thigns and people can buy them at very cheap prcies with dignity.”
She’s not afraid to dream. Our country was founded on dreams. And we ran on a dream for a long time. Now we’re trying to keep it alive in reality. We’ll get there, I’m sure. “We’re definitely not as nationalist but we have not gone through the same thing as you have. Plus here, our people really demand what they want from the government and if someone is in power who does not do there job, we fire them”.
She’s not afraid of the dark, thanks to loadshedding. ;-)”sorry dont understand this”
When she runs through the park, she’s not afraid of falling over, but just of losing her turn on the swing. “mhhm like any child. sweet”
Being a single parent in a crazy world is not easy. But it’s the choice I made. And in a world where women are fast becoming primary breadwinners, and the nuclear family is quickly becoming a myth, I am learning that it truly does take a village to raise a child. Nobody understands the notion of community better than a South African. And my village blesses me daily. “I think this is a great article, but from what I have heard, the community in South Africa is not so great living behind their high walls and still feeling a lot of fear towards each other. But I wish you a lot of luck. Nice article.”
thank you Anon for your coherent and very clearly thought out post. A response like that tells me that not only did it in some way resonate with you, but that you felt passionate enough to put finger to keyboard and say so. thank you for that.
I would never, ever dispute that there are many places in the world where children are raised in an open and free manner. My point here was not in any way to say that SA is the best – i know it’s not – i don’t think a best does exist, but, just to state firmly why i believe its the best for us right now. Sure, its not entirely unique in some aspects, but theres a certain rhythm of our life that i wanted to capture. thank you for reading and come again soon!
It’s a nice rosy picture from someone’s own life. It also is neither indicative for a broader validity or a glowing endorsement to follow into her footsteps. Much of the posting could describe the life of a child anywhere in the world – in some areas of the world children are even happy when they can play with empty bombshells in the streets.
As a South African living in London, after years of residency in the US, I enjoy visits to my home country, but wouldn’t in my wildest dreams consider to return. As a responsible parent I feel obligated to do what’s best and safest for my children. That means to stay as far away as possible from places like Jo’burg and Durban.
Kudos to Cath, for seeing the good in South Africa.
The thing that I love about South Africa, and miss whenever I’m not here, is the great people.
I’ve worked as an x-pat in other parts of Africa, and even there the South Africans were the guys who just had something about them. They’re magnets for good humor, free living, and courage.
I know we have a lot of bad stuff in this country, but I love it too.
just one bad thing – Life Expectancy
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life_Expectancy_by_Country
so, if you wanna have a short life, then move / stay in SA.