SOTD – Break – ANM

This is just how I feel today. i know i need my holiday, badly. i know i need quiet and i need a hug.

i know i’m not alone in this.

it’s normal to feel this way.

there’s too much going on/not enough normalcy and quiet/not enough sleep/not enough me time/too much pressure to constantly be okay with this/at least i have  a special rant person i can rant to and have it be okay.

i need to shout. i need my annual stand-at-top-of-mountain-scream-cry-go-insane-just-for-a-bit-yell-stomp-my-foot-and-hit-stuff.

i know it will calm down again. i know i am a skip and a jump away from some time away. but, i need this, this thing.. i’ll enbolden it for you.

it’s just. right now. i need to shout. and i know i need a big, ugly, yelping cry. because i need to let this shit go. and i battle to let things go.

but i have no time to have one. no space to unbundle it. no place to put it.

break – anm

Indeed I
Have sucked it up to heights
Unknown to those outside

My body has contained and suppressed
And swallowed and abetted
Oh I am a stranger to myself
Beneath altruism dwells
A force uncontended
A voice that is tempered
To boiled and unhindered

Who am I kidding?
I am not some Mother Theresa
If I don’t say something soon
I will break from the weight of the high road I take
No

Indeed I need my chance to fail
Some room to unravel
I need a chance to blame for two minutes
Unbridled, unbrazened
So I need imaginings of maiming
Fantasies of outright screaming
I need a chance to thrash for minutes
Uncontained, unforgiving

Who am I kidding?
I am not some Mother Theresa
If I don’t do something soon
I will die from restraint
As a sick subjugate
No

I will move beyond, I’m certain of that
The sooner I go the quicker I’ll be back
I would not threaten or cause you any harm
Have to get this out or my light will go out

Who am I kidding?
I am not some Mother Theresa
If I don’t do something soon
I will die from restraint
As a sick subjugate