seventeen days.

Whilst Cam was sick yesterday (she had croup. it’s horrible. especially waking up and wondering where the tractor noise is coming from inside your house, and realising it’s coming from your kid’s chest), we chatted.

She climbed in to my bed, and watched a little IT Crowd and Big Bang Theory with me (bugger off, parenting police, she loves it and hey, I’d rather have a kid obsessing over Penny and Sheldon, rather than that purple dinosaur I won’t mention, and of whom I am most of fond of saying goodbye to…).

And, we talked.

With just seventeen days away from her being five…she had a lot of questions…

“mom, when I am five, will I get really big? and will it hurt?”

(oh, Cam. growing up is hard, and it doesn’t ever stop hurting. but, usually, not in your bones but, sometimes in your heart).

“Mom, will i grow more teeth?”

“Yes, Cam, you know how some children’s teeth are falling out? And then the tooth fairy comes and gets the teeth and gives the children money or something?”

*insert pause from Cameron whilst she thinks*

“Mom, are there fairies for everything? Birthdays, teeth, Christmas. Why are there no Easter fairies, because there is an Easter Bunny?”

“Yes, Cam, there are fairies for everything you can think of”.

*insert pause from Cameron who looks at me and then trumps it…”

“Oh. Can I get one for just me then? There are so many!”

***

I still can’t believe my daughter will be five. I remember being five myself. I remember like it was yesterday, and that’s no cliche. I can still feel my favourite pink cardigan. I even remember unwrapping my presents around the oblong table in my parent’s lounge.

I remember how my shoes felt against my little feet and how I loved the buckles. I still love buckled shoes. They always make me feel so safe. I had a too-short fringe just like Cam (that’s a clue for what’s below). Cam is far more secure than I am though, at that age. I remember always feeling so shy. Not much has really changed. Believe it or not.

***

And then, of course, I asked the question…

“Cam, what would you like the Birthday Fairies to bring you for your birthday?”

She rattled this list off to me a while ago, but she pulled this one out of the hat yesterday. It’s a clear amendment on the first one she told me. hehe.

Rollerskates. Mom. The type with four wheels. Like from when you were little.

A sister. Or a brother. I dont mind, but, if its a brother, he cant share my toys. You’ll have to buy him his own boys things.
Clothes!

Beads

Swings
A ballie that bounces so high (NO, she has enough of them)

Balloon

A play-play plastic snake.

A teaset. A glass one (am i expecting the queen for tea or something?!)

Smarties

Chocolate

Make up

A mirror

A Brides dress with a veil that doesnt hurt. A white one and a pink one

High shoes

A costume

Funky goggles (big ones, with the nose cover)
a pretend fishie and…everything she likes (what the hell does a fish like?)

A Barbie.

A baby (okay, Cam, I know you want a sibling but that’s a no for now!)

Bath bubbles

dress up everything (wtf is that?)
Rapunzel. The actual princess from the tower. And the ugly witch so that I can kick her. And the dragons

The barbie and the three musketeers DVD
More CDs for her radio. Mostly Beyonce – “All the single ladies. you know that song, mom? *shakes her ass whilst I shake my head* (grrrr)

Jewellery.

Puzzles. With lots of pieces (she’s doing seventy-plus piece puzzles at school now. Yeah, I know, I was just as shocked when I found out!)

***

My baby girl, I can’t believe you’re going to be five.