It’s late, so that means it’s my favourite writing time. It’s midnight so that gives me good reason to ramble (and post a funny yet apt LOLcat)…
Forgiveness is the greatest human artform. Yes, it’s not constrained to just humankind – your dog will forgive you if you accidentally kick him whilst trying not to trip over him – but my point is, it’s the one of the greatest things you can do for someone else, and for yourself.
In truth, forgiveness takes a long time. True forgiveness, I mean. The type that doesn’t just bury a grudge somewhere down in the rabbit warrens of your mind, and silently reminds you every time to mistrust someone for something. Forgiveness is liberating. It’s the pathway that frees you up to walk through life, and not drag sixty five suitcases that make you feel doubt behind you. It’s the quintessential liberating mechanism.
It took me a long time to forgive someone for something. Even when I hadn’t quite reached forgiveness, I still wanted them to know I was working through it and towards it. I think they’ve forgiven me the hurt I caused in their life.
But it’s the “what-comes-beyond-forgiveness” that is the greatest reward. You see, once you are freed from the bounds of that anger, which is really just sadness, all dressed with noone to blow steam at…once that sadness subsides, the anger abates, and the pain is assimilated…you’ve learnt something. You’ve learnt something from someone that you never knew before. And I am someone who tries very hard to be grateful for the life lessons I have been given. No, scrap that, I am very thankful for those life lessons.
You see, this person taught me more about myself than I had ever known at that point. Because of the way that life led us, we learnt so much. Some of it in comfort, other things in discomfort. Some of them with ease, some of them were as hard as saying goodbye to someone you love, and not knowing when you will see them again.
Through the avenues that our lives meandered down, we learnt. We learnt more and more every day, and it is was only through processing slowly towards forgiveness that those lessons became abundantly clear.
I remember with vivid clarity, the moment when I realised I had reached forgiveness. I felt such freedom, such a clean taste of crisp air. It was like I had been holding my breath underwater and had suddenly shot up into the sunshine. And what beautiful, warm sunshine it was.
I’m grateful for those lessons. I’m cheered on by them every day. I’m thankful that I reached that point of clean deliverance, where suddenly those lessons were so clear.
All I am is gratitude.