Every time I write a blogpost…and, yeah, sorry, they haven’t been as prolific as usual this year, you know why…Anyway…
Every time I write a blogpost, I go back a year in my archives and see what was muddling around my brain exactly a year ago, to that date, or the closest thereabout. Sometimes I go a few days forwards or backwards
It keeps me in perspective, reminds me that ‘Yeah, there have been shittier days’ or ‘Hells, there have been way better days’ but, somehow, always, it keeps me remembering that everything works in cycles. Some days are crap, others are awesome…
So, today, when I opened up this here lil window, clicked on the date a year ago, and Bam, there was my reminder.
A whole year, dudes. A whole year. A whole year of happy whole-heartedness. Yes, I lost my mother during that year but, this year, I haven’t been alone. I’ve not felt alone once.
A friend of mine and I were talking about it yesterday (she and I have remarkably similar lives, right down to some very nasty situations which weirdly brought us together in the first place)…and she said
“And the truly remarkable thing about it is, it doesn’t mean that there aren’t hard, really truly hard days – there are, but no matter how hard, I get to deal with them whilst sitting on top of the world. This is where my home is now ☺ Spectacular views like I never could have imagined and crystal clear perspective…”
I cannot think of anyone who deserves to enjoy this view as much as she does. If you lot reading this knew why, you would furiously agree with me.
As for me, yes, there are really hard days. But they’re okay. They’re worth it for the absolute bliss of knowing that I get to wake up some mornings with my two loves cuddling with me. They’re worth it for knowing that, no matter what, I have a hand that holds mine and doesn’t want to control it at all times.
Thank you my Shmoo. All I am is gratitude.
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