“don’t waste your time on me, you’re already a voice inside my head”.
/end that person.
Tag: smellofburning
postmortem.
i wrote this the morning after something happened.
inhale. exhale.
inhale. exhale.
inhale. exhale.
inhale. exhale.
inhale. exhale.
inhale. exhale.
get. up. get. up. get. up.
get up and run. get up and run. get up and run.
get out. get out. get out. get out.
get rox. get rox. get rox.
run. run. run. run.
be scared. be scared. be scared. be scared.
“you run fast when you’re scared”
“you run fast when you’re scared”
“you run fast when you’re scared”
run. run. run. run.
you’re not crazy.
you’re not crazy.
you’re not crazy.
this is really happening.
this is really happening.
this is really happening.
you really are on the floor.
inhale. exhale.
inhale. exhale.
inhale. exhale.
this is really happening.
run. run. run. run. run.
leave it. leave it. leave it.
it doesn’t matter if it’s destroyed.
just run goddammit. just run goddammit. just run goddammit.
make the call. make the call. make the call.
get in the car. get in the car. get in the car.
don’t look back. don’t look back. don’t look back.
it hurts. it hurts. it hurts.
don’t tell anyone. don’t tell anyone. don’t tell anyone.
say ‘im fine’
i’m fine.
i’m fine
i’m fine.
stop crying.
ignore what he said.
ignore it.
ignore it.
don’t take it in.
don’t take it in.
don’t take it in.
ignore it.
ignore it.
ignore it.
it hurts. don’t tell anyone it hurts.
oh my god the neighbours heard.
oh my god the neighbours heard.
oh my god the neighbours heard.
drink tea.
drink tea.
drink tea.
don’t think about the future.
don’t think about the future.
don’t think about the future.
think about now.
think about now.
think about now.
oh my god where is she?
oh my god where is she?
oh my god where is she?
she’s fine. she’s not there.
she’s fine. she’s not there.
she’s fine. she’s not there.
think about now.
think about now.
think about now.
stop thinking.
stop thinking.
stop thinking.
noone believes me.
noone believes me.
noone believes me.
wait. you do. do you?
wait. you do. do you?
wait. you do. do you?
“this isn’t the first time, cath”
“this isn’t the first time, cath”
“this isn’t the first time, cath”
cath.
what are you now?
you are nothing.
you are nothing.
you are nothing.
you are thrown away.
pardon the phrase
pardon the phrase but the fit has hit the shan
i am soon to be homeless. They’re selling my flat.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
This is not happening.
- ends denial.
- finds new home.
- someone somewhere is laughing at me.
- that person is a twerp.
would it be a little too much for a little affirmation today? just a little one. It’s not like i’m asking for a billboard. i can make those myself, thanks.
that is all.
four things
four things id like to happen
1. the universal delete button
2. cigarettes to be cheaper
3. someone to invent the nonyapping dog. and then deliver it to the people living across the road from me
4. unlimited,free bandwidth in SA. No, scrap that, i know i am asking too much. How ’bout bandwidth that’s fast, works and doesn’t rely on telshitekom?
four things i cannot live without (things not people)
1. cigarettes
2. cellphone
3. coffee
4. clingwrap
/weird that thats all c’s
four numbers i have recently dialled
1. home (which is weird. i may never dial that number again)
2. boss
3. garry
4.X
four things i am looking at
1. curtains
2. screen.
3. cigarettes
4. cellphone
four things i wish i could do
1. take good photos. i take shit photos
2. be photogenic. i take shit photos
3. be coherent in stressful situations
4. draw.
four things i wish someone (not just one person) knew
1. that their presence on the earth makes me sick
2. that their presence on the earth makes me hopeful
3. that their presence on the earth makes me feel safe
4. that their presence on the earth makes me not feel so alone
/some of those people i think already know these
four things i need right now
1. tea
2. new pyjamas
3. my windows cleaned
4. sleep
four things i wish you knew
1. that i have a favourite playlist. which you probably hate and will one day point out to me and i will laugh at my patheticism
2. that i generally am in awe of everyone, and its not the other way around
3. that i think you try too hard when you really don’t need to, especially with me
4. that i really like them, even though i may never see them again