The resonations of true friendship…
Last night, one of my best friends – one of those people who I trust with my life (and who have actually dealt with me nearly dying on them…) had a heartbreak.
To the outside world, it would seem such a silly thing. It’s so removed from the ins and outs of our every day lives, that anyone external to our friendship wouldn’t even give it a second thought. But, when I read the news, I knew. And it was me who, panic-stricken, started making phonecalls and overthinking and worried.
And then they emailed me at 2am, and there it was – their little heartbreak wrapped up in words they couldn’t quite get out, but that I entirely understood, without even reading it.
And this is how it is with us. We know, exactly, how external things will directly influence each other, and nobody on the planet will quite understand it the way we do. This friend knows, even before I speak, what I’m going to say. They know when I’m covering something up, even when I’ve fooled the whole world into thinking that I’m okay. This person gets exactly where I’m coming from, and doesn’t ply me with platitudes when it would be the easiest route. They’re not about the soft talk, and they’re fantastic when I need my bum kicked into reality. They are the parent I do not have, and we live inside a paradigm where nobody else could understand.
It’s caused ructions in the past, in other aspects of our lives. Lovers have not understood our bond…been jealous of it, tried to ignore it, and even, at one point, disapproved of it. We wholeheartedly ignored that. You see, I think we both knew that this bond was a great test for lovers, and when we finally found the ones we were destined for, they’d be marvellous at trying to understand it, and not try to over-involve themselves or stick a wedge between it. I realise, today, that this friend and I both have that now – lovers who understand that this relationship is not a threat, but an asset. That this years-long friendship has stood strong against so damn much, and that nothing – not even us disagreeing – can touch or mar it.
The thing about our friendship is that we carry each other aches without question. We know exactly what is important to each other, because these things are similar, and yet so different. We get and totally indulge each other’s needs and modes of expression, and we support it, albeit quietly sometimes. It is a fierce fire that warms the home of our hearts.
I am so grateful for this friendship. It’s sometimes strange, always comforting forms, and the undeniable history that it runs on. I wish this type of friendship for my own daughter one day, and heavens, I hope it happens for her.
“my love for you is like this scar, (points at elbow) ugly, but permanent”.