After I eventually fell asleep last night (i chilled on the couch, watched a lot of television…) I had the most.random.but.vivid.dream.
It was, however, divine. I was at home, the original one, and clearly someone, somewhere, thought I needed a chat. This dream left me smiling. I woke up after it and wrote down some notes (circa 4am today) and I thought I’d write it up here.
Random, I tell you.
I was sat at home, the house I grew up in, and my Dad walked into my bedroom. I must have been a teenager though, because I remember turning around and saying “what!?”, whilst flinging a smoke out the window (they knew I smoked, it was okay but hey, I was angsty, what can i say? heh). And he said, clear as day I can still hear him in my head now:
“We need to talk about the rules. I think you have forgotten them”
The next thing, we were sat at the dining room table, tea, smokes, papers everywhere, and the big green glass ashtray circa 1973 and is very gorge and retro… He was wearing his cable-stitch jersey and it’s so weird yet comforting…he had his finger on his nose, holding his glasses, in the thinking position, that I know I do too.
And he showed me this piece of paper that said:
“Rules for Living Cath”.
They were scrawled out on the assignment paper I used to have to use for those bloody assignments for University. Weirdly, though, they were written in my ‘anal’ writing. The one I reserved for trying to be neat, back in the day of school and institutional learning and, let’s not fool ourselves okes, bunking lectures to watch movies.
Somehow, though, I know that some of it was talked about in this dream-conversation and other points were written down.
Anyway, here’s what my notes said this morning.
I’ve just noticed now, not that it surprises me, that there are twelve points.
1. Speak your mind. Even if your voice shakes. Somewhere, someone, someday, will listen.
2. Have good friends.
3. Love at all times. The hardest of these is to love yourself.
4. Noone can make you feel inferior without your consent. One day, you’ll realise this and stop giving your consent.
5. Listening is a lot harder than talking.
6. Laugh as much as you can. Try harder to laugh at yourself.
7. Walking. You were born disco-ordinated (emphasis on the disco). So, it’s right, left, right, left. Keep up, you’re doing well.
8. Never settle. yes, I know it’s tempting, but don’t settle. Compromise, in your experience thus far, has led you to screw yourself up. Don’t do it.
9. The moment someone demands you apologise for being you, stop feeling guilty about walking away from them.
10. Pets are for life. So are people.
11. When you die, nobody is really going to care if you ordered your wardrobe by colour.
12. Keep writing. Something’s coming.
I have a lot of gratitude this morning. And a lot of peace within. Thank you Dadadadad.