Yeah, yeah, I know. Three blogposts in one day. It happens sometimes.
Anyway. I’ve been thinking. Someone tried to delve into a grief process of mine yesterday, face to face. Here’s the thing, though – I have not, do not and will not easily talk about pain of any type face to face. I suck at it, I know I do, and I’d prefer to just not confront it verbally. I deal with my ‘stuff’ in other ways – I write about it.
So, when you ask me overtly investigative questions about personal pain I’ve experienced, I will shut you out. Try not to be offended by that, because actually, I don’t want to end up in some sodden heap on the floor while you ponder what you asked that could be so detrimental to my mental health. Talking about things often does not lead to any healing whatsoever for me. I know that sounds hugely incongruous with my own ramblings about being honest about feelings but, I really battle to verbalise things – I’d just rather write them down.
That process heals me. Talking about it does not. I really wish more people would understand that about me, mostly because it makes me appear aloof sometimes, evasive even. I’m sorry for that, I really am.
I try my best, I really do. Sometimes I just need to recuperate from something in my own time, process it through my keyboard and then just heal. I’m sure you have a process too, and I’ll happily respect that too.
So, simply put, it goes like this…
…then…
…then…I delete a lot…
…then…I press…
…and then…
Are we clear now? Good. Excellent. Carry on.
Let’s have a song, then…
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv6dMFF_yts]