/random.
it’s been a long, long time since i heard this on the radio.
it’s been a long, long time since hated that video when i saw it.
it’s been a long, long time since i originally heard that song and thought it apt in relation to someone.
it’s been a long, long time that i’ve known them and still do.
it’s been a long, long time that we’ve been calling each other at 2am, crying about our lives, or laughing at our mutual calamities.
it’s been a long, long time since i got over whatever it was that i thought was insensitive and moved on and thought not of that ever again.
it’s been a long, long time since that water went under the bridge.
it’s been a long, long time since i had a 19 page letter written for me from an overseas trip where you’d found my twin.
it’s been a long, long time since we started writing faxes to each other. fuck, remember those? waha.
it’s been a long, long time since we would go dancing and prancing and light incense and talk for hours about the world we had yet to know.
it’s been a long, long time. and in between, we’ve fought, we’ve rallied for each other, we’ve stuck together, and unstuck badly-glued parts of our lives, for each other.
it’s been a million years worth of phonecalls. it’s been a million haircolours and bad clothes and sunrise breakfasts. it’s been a lifetime of letters and purple-tongue fizz pops. it’s been a magical ride of exploring and inquisiting and not taking no for an answer. Of prodding each other and protecting each other when someone else attacks.
And how I laugh. How I laugh now. If I had known at 15, that a 29 I would be writing this…I’d probably have laughed more at 15.
I’ll never forget your face the night i was walked through to the bar. You looked like you’d just found Mecca/Brad Pitt naked in your bathroom/the winning lottery numbers for every single lottery for eternity/like someone had just called you a nasty name and then told you they were kidding.
I’ll never forget your face as I sat there, holding hands as we were in a row at your mother’s funeral.
I’ll never forget your face as you shouted inbetween the chaos one awful New Year’s Eve. You were the first knight in shining armour to stand up for my daughter, way before she was even ready to greet the world.
I’ll never forget your face as you ran into the hospital when I was so sick. And you held my hand and said “don’t ever do that again. you are not allowed to die. it goes against our world domination schedule”.
I’ll never forget your face the day you told me, gigantic pillows between us, like always, that what I heard was right. And no, that it wasn’t my fault.
I’ll never forget the fact that you were my very first love.
I’ll never thank you enough for it.
Thank you…bless you in your travels, your conquests and your queries.
For us. Bjork. Because, in the back of some club we can’t go to anymore, we would dance and laugh and pretend to be the people we would one day become. Because we are. And darling, that’s fabulous.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TvuqzFbFfw&feature=related]