on those days. when the world is a little blue, my heart lives on my sleeve and i feel like a tourist in a strange land in my own home. when everything’s a little off kilter, and my head smacking into walls, somehow i find a reminder of what’s important and who, again, has my back (and as nikola would say,my front too wah!), and who does not.
So, when the world gets a little strange and fishbowly. I phone a friend and remember that it’s a process abd I just have to be patient and strong.
And that, most of all, I am entirely, lucky, blessed and always have a home even when I feel homeless.
and for a million nights of exploding first aid kits, sleeping on couches, the lifechanging cigarette pros/cons game, pron hangman, fronds and foliage, doing the big block, making you hurry your food so that i can mission off somewhere at 3am, the human league dont you want me baby dance, everybody hurts at 4am and being entirely boxed (again!) by your voice, tissues and stockings, feeding me and holding my hand when it all goes to pieces.
i know that all the noise and silence matters not, because this exists. if i could bring you a frond from every forest in the world, i would.
and this song reminds me, makes me do a little ugly cry, and then feel so thankful for you.
happy 5th of march day, my will.
here’s to a million more years of living with grace
(hells, if you can handle it)
living with grace – barry manilow/eric mccormack
watch it here
i tell the world im thirty five
only you know the truth
i tell them all im happy
only you have the proof
i tell myself i’ll fall in love
and not just fall on my face
but ’til then i’m living with hope
and i’m living with grace
i tell the world i’m six foot one
and all you do is smile
i tell them all i’m playing the field
but you know that’s not my style
i tell myself i’ll find my way
moving at my own pace
but ’til then i’m living with pride
and i’m living with grace
living with grace
is never easy
but that’s not what life’s about
and no matter where tomorrow leads me
i’d rather live with grace
than live without her
i know that soon you’ll find someone
and vanish without a trace
but although i’m living alone
i’ll be living with grace
yes, no matter, come what will
in my heart
i’ll be living with grace