i was recently asked why i say i have commitment issues.
truth is, i do. but not with commitment itself, or the notions of exclusivity and exploration but, rather, actually, this is gonna be a shocker folks – it’s just not been asked for in the right way for me, in many cases.
i don’t speak only in the typical, relationship sense. i mean it in any sphere of life.
currently, though, i find that its the people who ask commitment of me in atypical ways that have stuck around and that i want to stick around. they are the people to whom i am willing to commit time, energy, money, love. truth is, i have two of these things to give in abundance.
energy and love.
time and money, well that’s what we all lack, right?
in my experience with commitment, and hence my alleged commitment issues, it’s always been demanded from me, pulled from me, possibly even swindled. occasionally guilted out of me. i’ve done it too, in the past, but it always ended in an, and i quote “unpleasant manner”.
taking me at face value is far more beneficial than using your assumptions to guide getting what you want out of me. taking me just as i am has proven to be a far more exciting and joyful experience than trying to squish me into what you want me to be. in reflection back, i will always take you at face value. i don’t ride on agenda, or ponder your motives. i’m just going to take you as you are.
my point here is not some longwinded ramble on whether or not i have commitment issues. i think the crux of the matter here is that i don’t – i just have a little off-centre/atypical approach to it.
Further, it’s the people in my life – from those close to me, to my director, who have not only embraced this but moreover, i think, respond to it. they know they can rely on my commitment, because they know it’s
there. when i’ve decided on something, i’m in it, balls to the wall and wearing matching socks.
i will always have their back. they know who they are. i’m immensely grateful for their openness with me, being open to me, and open with me.
i’m honestly happy.
sotd – just like you are – fire through the window.