She’s been on my mind alot recently. We go through flurries of communication, and then quiet times. Right now, it’s a quiet time. I’m rattled with trying to get work done, and she’s well, also trying to get work done, so to speak.
So, I battle to do anything more than send a two-liner “love you” or random Facebook comment. She and I have bad day synergy sometimes, and yesterday, I believe, was a frankly-shit one.
Anyway, my point is. I read this book alot, over and over again. The movie didn’t move me much but, the book does. Not the storyline but, the unspoken aspects of being and having a sister. Those resonate
The truth is, my sister and I have not always been close. We’ve warred like you won’t believe. We get annoyed with each and we are absolutely, hilariously, very similarly. Fighting with her is like fighting with myself. Only, it’s worse because I can’t tell myself to shut up and leave me alone. Heh. We’re so the same we like the same tea. We smoke the same way.
But, as I’m older, we are. I treasure that. I never get to tell her that, really. And because we live continents apart, it’s sometimes hard to make that translate into actual, meaningful communication.
When my mother was dying, she and I held hands over Facebook chat and talked to each other all the way through. We made tea, we laughed, we cried and well, it was the first time I’ve ever had a Facebook chat session or my 3g connection actually not konk out on me. It was the very early hours of the morning. Maybe that’s why. Maybe it was the technology just behaving because we both knew we needed each other right then.
Now, when she’s here, she’s part of the crazy people I call friends. She fits in with them, and has even been adopted by my friend L, who counts her as a sister too. I like that.
The truth is, today though, my sister popped in to my head whilst I was being industrious and working and, I just wanted to tell her that I love her. Very much. And I miss her.
The end of this book rounds off with a reading of this poem by e.e.cummings. Last night, when I read it, I immediately thought of her so, she should go read it when she’s finished reading this. I carry you in my heart, tart. I carry your heart in my heart.