Dear Cameron
Last year, at your Christmas play, I was worried. You cried a lot and I blamed it on the big crowd being scary and suchlike. You had stage fright. It was okay, and we had a good time anyway.
My Cam, this morning as I watched you jump right out the door and onto the stage of a garden, I saw a glint in your eye that matched mine. You have grown so much, and so well, and you’re a happy girl. I realised, as you started to point your toes and curve your arms, that your happiness reflected mine. And that my happiness reflected yours.
You and I have always been a team. From the moment I found out about you in the pink bathroom at Eve Granny’s house, I knew we were a team. You stuck with me, and I will always stick with you. I knew from that second, that you were destiny.
And it scared the living shit out of me.
But, I was brave. You helped me to be brave. So when you came home and I slept on the floor next to your cot, paranoid to leave you for even a second, and you looked at me like I was ridiculous, with your two-day old eyes, your courage inspired me to get up and leave you to sleep.
I did. But only for about five minutes.
And when you got sick for the first time, and didn’t cry. Your bravery inspired me at three am to mop up the vomit and hold you even closer.
When you walked for the first time, and just didn’t give up trying even when you flopped down a million times, your determination kept me going.
On a random Thursday night, when you shouted “mama!” at me for the very first time, it kept me going every day.
It helped me to make the hardest choices, and kept me strong on the weakest days.
And today, today when I saw you dance out and wave your hello to me, unphased by the crowd of people before you, your courage and smile showed me that I have made the right ones.
Dear Cameron, I am the proudest mommy in the whole world. And you the star in my every night of sky.
Thank you. Thank you for being the child you are, and the wise soul that says “mom, that shirt does not match those pants”. Hehe.
Thank you for never being afraid to dance. And opening your arms up to the world to love.
It was you who showed me how to love, and you who keeps me loving.
It is you who teaches me to never give up, and never stop believing in angels.
Love,
Mama