oh, honey, you’re my favourite

okay so it’s 1am. the parlotones are playing whilst i type this out on sheena’s laptop

.and yes. its been a long long time since i slept.

i’m okay with this.

tonight, sheena and i got home (its been a fucker of a day all round, trust me on this one…i even have a corne zit to prove it… shurrup sheena) and lay on the lounge floor and let loose.

there was remote karaoke, yes.

there was silly djing attempts, yes.

there was romeo and juliet – dire straits.

there was doth i protest too much – alanis morissette.

there was soo life without symmetry – mea.

there was even belinda. yes, belinda.

no dudes, there were no dildos involved.

there were highly embarassing photos of me and that alice band from 15 years ago.

there was a lot of emo.

it was literally, cathartic. or, in the spirit of this place, shathartic.

thank you my friend. through shit and through smit, us.

and then moose arrived in all his glory.

i think its time i let you know, blog.. i have no clue which planet this person came from. all i know is that the more i think about it, its the same planet ive spent my life being accused of living on. and oh my god i love it there.

every day, i worry if my greatness would wane. but, this person, somehow, like none ever could even begin to try, just knows. and doesnt question. just accepts. and moreover, embraces.

all of it. the shitty parts and the good ones too…yes, even the morose, saddest parts of me i try so hard to hide from the world. the part that spirals me into teetering over the abyss. he’s not afraid to hold my hand, look over at it and say “meh, it’s overrated, look seefood”.

maybe i’ve just never had someone accept my paradigm, and the everything that goes with it? does this post make any sense? who knows… i’m only human after all.

dear blog, i think it’s time i told you, that i feel safe with this person. i am not used to feeling safe. the truth is, i always have, from day 1, day 1, of the random massive crazy ohmigodwillyoutwoshutup, as shakti called it, day. sheena, weirdly, can verify that, for having to deal with me online that day going “HOOOOOLY FUCK. HOOOOLY FUCK” (i said it alot that day)

he feeds me, he spoons me, he gets it. he. gets. it. and. i. think. i. get. him.

a lot of the time, i wish i could hold up a mirror to him and show him how utterly divine he is. but, i know, he’d do as i do, and check his hair first. ‘as you are, as i am’.

i have a lot of secrets. little things i don’t tell people in case it scares them. i’m not scared with him.

every precious moment with him just makes me want to dance.

and, after all, we’re here to dance.

good night blog.