Reason #39842254166465 why I love Smile-e.
Message from Smile-e: I ran into a kid today who wore a shirt with an Intel emblem on it, but it said “Jesus inside”. I was torn between saying “hey clever” and decking him.
Reason #154444166142354 why I love Will.
Message to Will: Loadshedding at office today so can’t check emails yet. Went to see kidney doctor and he asked “When are you going to marry that nice man that was with you that day?” Waha.
Message from Will: Well, when are you? I ain’t getting any younger.
Message to Will: Don’t toy with my emotions like that…would next week suit you? Most importantly, do you have a meringue?
Message from Will: If I did it certainly wouldn’t be white. I must warn you I am far from virginal. But I am also far from vaginal.
Message to Will: It’s okay. I am far from virginal myself and I have enough vagina for the both of us. WAH.
Reason #58490898396 why I love my job.
So, we’re sitting here in the dark. I can type this due to laptop battery life of best ever…
And the telephone rings. I have two telephones on my desk. This is not because I am important. This is because I am that needed. Wah.
Anyway, TSOH (Telephone with Speeddial Option to Hell) Number One rings, and it’s a man and:
Manonphone: “Hello, can I speak to Elvis?”
Cath: “Er, I’m sorry, he’s left the building…”
Manonphone: “When will he be back?”
Cath: “I’m not sure, shall I consult a spirit guide?”
Manonphone (who clearly, finally gets the joke): “Do you think they’d ask you to not step on their Blue-Suede Shoes?”
Cath: “Perhaps. All I hope is that they’ll Love Me Tender enough to answer quickly”
Manonphone: “Yes, definitely. I guess they just Can’t Help Falling In Love With You”
Cath (who is now, paralectic with laughter, at desk): WAHAHAHAAHHA. Can I put you through to the right department, now?”
Manonphone: “Sure. But, hells, next time I’m calling this line first for a giggle”