1. GO STEFF! You’re just about turning out to be the perfect man right now. remind me to playdate the kids with you. i am very proud indeed.

2. WARNING – potentially religiously offensive and undoubtedly opens me up for judgement so try not to take it out of context…

cam often asks me ‘who made me?’
the answer i always give her is ‘me, your daddy and God’
she always responds ‘me no like God. because me like you and Daddy’
which is cute and doesn’t mean she’s satanic. hah.
anyway, in the runup to the easter festivities,
the jehovah’s witnesses are doing their rounds,
saving the souls, preaching their doctrine
and they come to the door this morning
and the first thing the guy says is
‘we have been sent by God to deliver a message to you’.
Cam looks him straight in the eye and says
‘me no like God’
he goes bug-eyed, turns and goes
i explode in laughter all over the floor



“you’re my present mommy”

“you’re my present cammy”

“i love you more than bubbles”

“i love you more than cheese”

“i’m going to make chocolate hearts for you and for my daddy and uncle oliver”

“and kyle-ben?”

“yes. and granny and grandpa and evegranny. and uncle daine and aunty luanne and tasha and aunty alison and uncle richard and the baby in aunty alison’s tummy”

“good girl. what’s the baby’s name?”


(mommy giggles to herself)

“no babe, the baby’s name is kristyn-jade”



“mommy, where’s my brother?”

“er. we don’t do those. i’m going to make dinner now”

“i’m going to wash the dishes for you and i won’t mess”

(yes. its true. cam washes the dishes. we only use plastic here and i spend a lot of time with towels on the kitchen floor)

“you’re awesome, cammy”

“i not cammy today. i am po the teletubby”

“okay then. you’re awesome, po”

“teletubbies say uh oh. mom, where’s the tv on my tummy?”

“um , it’s sleeping right now cam, sorry, i mean po”

“oh okay. the baby in the sun isn’t up yet”

(pfft. note to self – you now have legitimate excuse to purchase the teletubbies dvds you’ve wanted for so long)

“yes. its night-time now”

“yes, the moon means doodoo”

“yes, wanna go sleep?”

“naah, we still need to eat ice-cream. with our fingers”

“okay. now?”

“yes. now”

“mommy. i found a thing. that thing”

“what thing, cam?”

“that thing. the one that goes noise and you no like”

(the bloody awful drum kit your aunt and uncle bought you one christmas and i have kept hidden for so long and hope it will one day disappear)

“er. where’d you find that?”

“where you hid it”

(you grin. i grimace. the evening descends into cacophony of ice cream, insane drumming and princess skirt wearing. you eventually fall asleep with your little arm around me and you say ‘i love you mama’ just before you drift off.)

you are the sole reason i breathe.

Randy Pausch

Last night, I went emo.

I won’t lie. I just went emo. It happens. Especially when you’re an overthinking, overcommunicating, overinvesting human being. I still wont apologise for it. And this reminded me why I never should.

After Cam went to bed, I lay on the couch and went totally emo. Worst ever. Bad fringe, guyliner, the whole thing. Pete Wentz would have shat himself in fear of my takeover. Jared Leto would have set up a shrine to me.

And watched telly.

And then this came on. I want you to watch it and to think. watch it here

you can read the transcript here

Two things I will say, is that I choose to be a Tigger, and I SO let my kid paint on my walls. and fuck it, i am not apologising for either of them.

oh, and I’m so using this line:

experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want.

the best thing about having a two year old princess…

is that we can spend the weekend wearing tiaras, painting our nails, playing in the mud, baking chocolate muffins, blowing bubbles, going swimming, laughing and being princesses of all we survey.

and nothing or noone can tell us how to wear our tiaras or laugh properly or apply any rules to us. ’cause, as cam says “that’s our rock ‘n roll”.

sunday stumblings

1. we had the BEST day with you yesterday. sunshine, swimming, eating, laughing. unconditional. it had been over a decade (hah), and yet nothing changes, changed, changing between us. i cannot believe that lisa is 25.

2. wow. okay. seriously now. it appears that ALL the kids are doing it now (whether they’re cool or not). why aren’t i? i had a massive mental rant about that last night. it ended up with the “where did i go wrong? where did i go right?” monologue. it was then that i decided i should shut the fuck up and go to sleep. after smsing anen and nik tho.

3. breakfast this morning is big ass wafer biscuits and yoghurt this morning. i’m probably going to mommy hell for that one. i really don’t give a shit.