things getting me through this week.

Let’s just pretend that this week is a challenge. And I have not trained, because there is no acceptable training routine for it and no helpful survival tips except “survive it”.

So I’ve turned to a few usual sources to get me through this, head down and propelling myself towards the weekend.

not exactly this. but hey.

The weekend – why? Usually, my weekends are work time. But this time, not. (and I’m forcing it not to be)> Because we’re doing homely, family stuff this weekend and this makes me happy. Because in the inner recesses of my brain, there’s still a girl who used to do all this stuff alone, and who hadn’t truly shared a home with someone else in a relationship manner, looking forward to a future together, for many, many years. And that girl gets excited when we sit together as a family and plan how we’re going to mix things up a little at home, change some things and recreate our little lovespace. Happiness is a new lounge, or something. I didn’t know this would happen. This is still a surprise to me.

My kid. Because she sets herself life goals and then goes on to achieve them. She ignores obstacles and just carries on, quietly determined. And then she attains her goal and modestly comes to tell me, like an afterthought. She is sometimes anxious, sometimes worries a lot. She is like me. But she has zero doubt in her abilities. She wobbles (we all do), but she has a strong heart and believes that she CAN do the things she sets her heart on. So she does. She teaches me. So much. I had no idea I’d be a mama once. This is still the most exhilarating surprise of my life.


I just love this image. Had to use it.

Support. I am not the type to lean, easily. In fact, there are very few people who truly know what’s going on in my head. But I have someone I can just collapse over onto. I can lean. It takes me a long time to lean, but when I do get there, I can lean. Hard. I never knew that I would ever be able to lean. And now when I do lean, it is strong. I never knew I would be able to, one day, lean.

The things I never thought I would never have the opportunity or ability to do, I am doing right now as I type this post. That, right there, reminds me of my purpose. And hells, knowing my purpose, and living it? I did not believe, for the longest time, that I would be able to do this. This is still exciting to me. I am overwhelmed with glee over this.

Learning to say yes. I am on a mission to say yes to things. Last year, I learnt to say no to the things which drained me, which demanded my attention and refused to let me focus. And this year, I am saying yes to new things. I am saying yes to doing stuff that thrills me, inspires me and challenges me. Grateful I can say yes. I just need to teach myself to yes to the right things.


be your own cheerleader.

 This morning, as dawn broke and Facebook came alive with almost everyone posting about their return to work…I realized something. There’s a bunch of people starting new things, flying out on their own (one of them is my ridiculously clever friend Neal over here) and beginning to do things differently. Maybe it’s their New Year’s resolutions, maybe it’s new projects, sometimes it’s a whole new life style.

I find that invigorating. It’s inspiring to see how people have taken new jobs, are starting afresh or actively taking steps towards making their dream a reality. Now, I’m NO motivational speaker – not even a little, tiny bit…but, I did once do something to help me achieve a personal dream. In the spirit of the new year, I thought I’d write it five little things that have been swarming around my head about it.

1. You’re going to deal with assholes. These will be the assholes who tell you that you cannot do it, that you’re not good enough and that you’re being silly. Sometimes this asshole will be yourself, sometimes it’ll be the asshole who won’t pay you for work done. Sometimes it’ll be some weird obstacle you weren’t expecting. Sometimes it’ll just be an asshole. Sometimes you’ll mess up and be your own asshole. It’s okay. Assholes are learning experiences and, at some point, you’ll thank them for being an asshole. Be prepared for the assholes. Understand that they have a purpose.

2. Tell people about it. Whatever your dream is, WHATEVER it is – whether it’s a shiny new title at your company, or a brand spanking new project…tell people about it. Start with “I’m committing myself to this”. You’ll probably be able to weed out a lot of future assholes from just saying it.

be your own cheerleader, even if you don’t know a single dance move.

3. Pompoms for friends. A corollary to telling people about it is that it may actually get you even closer to your ideal. Once you’ve got your support team chucking pompoms, you’ll find it gets really easy to believe in yourself.

4. Pompoms for you. Keep chucking your own pompoms. Be humble, but dammit, don’t discount yourself.

5. Exhaustion is normal. Understand that working towards your goal will probably make you feel tired, annoyed, frustrated, worried and – at some point – disheartened. Excellent things are not achieved overnight. I promise you on that one. Keep going, especially when you feel like giving up. Stop, have a bigfatcry, sleep and carry on. You can, promise.

6. Plan, schedule and plan some more. There is no such thing as too much planning. Be one month ahead of yourself if you can, in your plan. Oh, and don’t look back unless you need to. Sometimes you will never need to again.

And, lastly, be proud of the fact that you committed to a change. You’ll see – that commitment, no matter what your goal or dream is – is what makes it work.