I realise I write, think, speak alot about gratitude. I’m not religious, not in any conventional sense, nor am I the most gracious of people. I am, to the strongest point possible, as honest as I can be at any time. I have my faults, I have my own judgements that I cast upon myself and I totally believe that I can be a better person, every day. I’m a big believer that life is a work in progress, and that it’s all about the journey. I know that I’m trying to be that better person.
Sometimes, though, because I am human and therefore given to self-absorbed behaviour, I start to lose sight of that. I sometimes battle to overcome what appears to be the simplest misgiving, or the tiniest event.
But, on the roundabout of life, you do gain one thing. Perspective.
It’s been a Monday. Busy and, overall, a bit of a hard day to keep perspective. I am determined though. I’ve had a lot to think about. So, here is my perspective today:
I am thankful for:
1. Family. In whatever way they appear around you, and whatever your relationship with them, family are the people who knew you when you peed your pants, and still love you, even when you can be hard to love. The only biological family I have left are my siblings and Cam. And I treasure them, more than I can tell them.
2. Family. Yeah, I said that twice. I meant it. The people who become like your family, and your heart and mind consider them so. They win their way into your life, and your heart. They’re the people you call when you have news, whether it’s good or bad. They’re the ones who you can speak your soul to, and not have to worry that you sound stupid. For me, they’re the people I trust my heart with, that I trust Cameron’s heart with, and with whom I am at home. It’s a very strange sensation, because with not having my parents anymore, somehow, the Universe has still given back…and now I have a bigger family than I ever thought I did. Cam and I are so blessed by the family love we have been surrounded with. The family that makes up my family. The family that makes up the army of people who love us, just as we are.
3. Friends. The people who take the time to remind you that you’re not insane, just silly. And they love you for that silliness. True friends don’t need to speak all the time, but you know they are there. Sometimes you don’t need someone to talk to, you just need someone to sit with you. Cam and I are very rich in friends.
4. Love. Enduring love. Love that sees straight past my own sometimes idiotic tendencies, and is infinite without condition. Something I never really knew of before and do now. My heart rests here.
5. Home. The roof over our head, filled with love and cosiness. Our television with its sixty-seventh re-run of Strawberry Shortcake on, and crayons all over the floor. Dishes in the sink from dinner, and a bathroom with bottles of bubbles.
6. Work. Even though everybody (don’t lie now, dudes, don’t lie) lives for the weekend, holiday, pay-day…I have work. It keeps me busy and keeps us afloat. It lets me give Cameron the necessities for living. It enables me to live the life we create.
7. Food. Damn, that dinner was good. Sometimes I’m still amazed I can make it. This coming from the girl who didn’t know how to boil an egg when she first moved out of home. True story. Ask anyone who I had over for dinner, circa 2001, and they’ll tell you about the half-frozen dinners and dodgy meals. Heh.
8. My daughter. You see, Cam was not expected. Like all the wonderful and great things in my life, it is always the unexpected that truly makes my life worth it. And there she was. And there she is, sleeping now. Probably dreaming of princesses, mermaids and cake. Her simple perspective on life at every turn keeps me grounded. She is the biggest blessing I have ever received. Every day, when we get home and recount our best and worst parts of the day, I am awed by her little stories of life. They say that when you become a parent, your heart begins to beat outside of your body. It’s entirely true.
9. Hope. Even when life gets hard, there’s always hope.
10. Learning. The opportunity of learning lurks around the corner in every day. Within the ability to learn and gain new knowledge, in whatever form, lies an immense joy.
11. Attitude. Being able to choose your approach to whatever situation. It’s you that determines your attitude, every day.
Excuse the rhyme but…
Today my attitude is gratitude.