best friends – sea.ess.em.jay

Saturday Morning Twitter

It’s been a long time since I took a morning like this.

I have a pile of work to get through, but I trust I will get there. I’m off to see a friend shortly, but first I thought I’d blog. Here are my random asides for today:

1. Saturday Morning Twitter. Look, however and whatever you feel about this social network, Saturday Morning Twitter is the best time for it. It’s almost like a breakfast club – a mashup of the jollers coming home, the runners heading out and the coffee addicts pondering where to find their next fix. Then come the parents who are awake early with the kids, and the people who are pondering a soundtrack for this first day of their weekend. I fit – at some point – into all of those categories, and sometimes they cross-over in a scrambled way. And it’s cool. Saturday morning Twitter is human, free of any advertising and just – it’s like coming downstairs when you wake up and finding 400 people in your kitchen, making coffee and doing the crossword. Saturday Morning Twitter Breakfast Club is one of the biggest reasons why I fell i love with Twitter, and I so often miss this little period of time, because I’m busy doing other things. Not today. Damn I love it. Special mention to my friend Sian for reminding me of something that made me laugh so hard this morning.

2. Many, many people I know watched Skunk Anansie last night in JHB. Shush and listen to this and then tell me you’re not moved. Skin is a power-woman. Thank you Andy for the reminder.

3. If you have ever worked in an office, you will understand this. And laugh. And cry. My favourite is Accidental DJ.

4. Randomly, I can directly and perfectly equate the strength of my friendships by the way in which the friend and I can jokingly insult each other. It’s true – Sheena and I developed an entire language around this at one point. On that note, my BFF, Will, last night insulted me SO badly, I am *still giggling*. His burny quip was so cutting and yet so very fitting, it reminded me of how well he knows me. He knows my secrets and will make me laugh at them, in spite of myself. That sounds strange, I know, but the way to my heart is through laughter. He knows all those strange stories of my life history and I know his. And I can trust him to never use them against me, only to make me laugh at myself. It was an incredible moment for me, to finally realise all these things, in such clarity. I am so grateful for my friends.

5. It’s time for me to drink some coffee, do a few emails and then head out for the morning. But, for a few minutes, it’s back to Saturday Morning Breakfast Club Twitter for me. Have a good one, funny, funny Internet.

When facing life.

When facing life – it’s ins and outs, it’s joys and tribulations – we look to strength.

When we feel we do not have the strength ourselves, we look to the strong ones around us.

We lean, we curve, we try our best to believe.

And, when our strong ones are the ones that need strength, we hold hope high in our hearts for them.

Today is one of those days for me. When someone strong and who I lean on, faces one of life’s scary moments.

Today, I’m thinking of her. She’s a tough cookie, and she’s courageous. Obstinate, to a point, and passionate beyond her own self. She’s a giver, always, of her very best, to everyone who needs her.

She is a proud tower of bravery. She’s a leader, and she’s my friend.

On this sunny day, when I’m working and typing and talking and doing, she’s confronting something frighteningly huge, in her own quiet, determined way.

I’m thinking of her today, and holding her tightly in my heart.

xxx

my cynicism is gone.

I’ve never really been one for fairytales. Yes, I read them to my daughter, and I let her immerse herself in the world of princesses and dragons, and I’m not afraid to let her believe in gallant princes on white horses. It feeds her imagination – one that so grows every day.

But when it comes to real life, the reality in which I live, I’m not party to living for them. Yes, I get whimsical (especially on very special days), and yes, I allow myself to daydream. Sometimes the best ideas come from those mental meanderings down Dreamside Avenue. This piece is one of them.

Anyway, I’m cynical, at best, realistic, to a point, and often curb my own cravings for dreams by snapping myself back into reality, by making lists of things that need to get done, or reading the news. It’s awful to do, but I have to kick my own bum sometime. The thing, my point is, is that, when it comes down to it, I’m a hard-nosed realist who doesn’t make space for dreams in day to day life. It makes me question everything, and seek to understand every nuance of a statement or situation. I deal in bare facts, and accept them as best I can.

In fact, I’ve told you this before.

But, oh boy, my cynical dragon is slowly being slain.

Unbelievably, at the time when I was at my most cynical, an absolute prince walked into my life. And there he’s stayed, for nineteen months so far.

And, with him, came a whole troop of heroes and heroines, each one of them singularly and tremendously spectacular. This troop of loved ones, have become like family over this time, and I cannot imagine life without them, not for one second. So too, has his family, who are, to me, closer than I could ever have imagined, and so absolutely wonderful to love. And they love us, through and through. They are all woven into the fine texture of every day. We are so very, very blessed.

So, yesterday, my best friend gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Grace. Now, what you don’t know, world, is what I know. I know that this child has been dreamt of for longer than I can tell you. I know that she’s the most anticipated and strongly longed for baby, that I have ever known. That’s not my story to tell, though. My story is this…

That, in the midst of waiting to hear of her safe arrival, I sat on my balcony, oscillating between pure glee at the notion that this dream was coming true, and pure fear over “how it was all going”. By the time I heard of her safe arrival, and listened to her father speak of her tiny beauty, my heart was sitting somewhere in my throat, and my nerves were more shot than ever. I’ve never so desperately waited on a text message, as I did yesterday evening.

When I woke up for no reason at 2am today, for once, I didn’t lie there worrying about life/bank balances/work demands/the eternal am-I-a-good-mother questioning…

I lay there, cuddled up in bed, and swooned over pictures, looked around at my life and smiled. There was no nervous tension, no grand designs of “how on earth am I going to get out of a pickle”, no furrowed brow over things I have zero control over. I watched my own daughter sleep, and marvelled at how quickly she’s grown, and just how much love she has in her little body, and the amazing dreams that live in her head. All I had was peace.

Dear Grace, you are barely a day old, and you’ve got me believing that fairytales do come true. Well done. 🙂

I cannot wait to meet you.